Unreadable. Unreachable. Unrequited. | TsukiYama ✓

4

[Yamaguchi]

"Yachi-san!" I hurried up to our manager, a smile on my face. "Thanks for letting me borrow your workbook yesterday. Here, I've got it for you now. You're great at teaching y'know? I understand it all now!"

"Thank you Yamaguchi-kun!" Yachi clasped her hands together, grinning as she watched me take my back off and root through it for her book.
"Hey- so, I was wondering. Yamaguchi-kun is a long name huh? If you're gonna be studying with us more, can I shorten it to Yama-kun?"

I paused, holding her workbook out to her. A nickname?
I must've looked quite confused or something as Yachi quickly started waving her arms around and bowing apologetically, babbling out 'sorry's and saying she'd overstepped boundaries.

"Yachi-san! It's alright, alright?" I chuckled nervously, trying to calm her down. "I like it! I've just never had anyone ask that before."

Yachi calmed down, relaxing and smiling at me.
"Ah.. that's good. Well, I think Tsukishima-san is waiting for you by the door, you should go to him." She smiled, holding a thumbs-up. I returned the gesture and turned, hurrying to my friend.

"Tsukki! Oh man, yesterday 'cause you were at the doctor's I had to go study with Hinata and Kageyama at Yachi-san's place and-"

"What doctor's?" Tsukishima asked blankly, making me stop. He gave me an odd look before pulling up his headphones and starting the walk off. I was too stunned to speak, even as Hinata and Kageyama hurried over and got lost in their own conversation.

He'd specifically told me he was at the doctor's. I knew he did. Had he forgotten? Had he... lied to me? Why would he lie? What did he need to hide? I thought we were friends, why didn't he tell me? Why doesn't he care?

"Yamaguchi?" Kageyama's voice sounded over my thoughts. I looked up, seeing him staring at me with a raised brow. He then looked to Hinata with a smirk.
"Told you he liked me better."

Hinata walked over to me, blatantly ignoring Kageyama who looked at him all offended.
"Hey Stressyguchi, what's up? You look like crap!" He chirped bluntly, jumping up and wrapping an arm around my neck, tugging me down so I was his level.

I glanced to Tsukishima, realising I must've just stopped walking because he was further ahead now.

"Ah... it's just Tsukki. I don't know. He really has been acting weird. He just said he wasn't at the doctor's yesterday, even though that's what he specifically told me he had to leave for." I shrugged, glancing to Hinata. Hinata shared a look with Kageyama before looking at me.

"And...?"

"And... am I a bad friend?" I asked quietly, looking down. Hinata let go of my neck and grabbed my sleeves instead.

"Yamaguchi Tadashi, no way are you a bad friend! Tsukishima is a jerk, he always has been and he always will be. You're an amazing friend and he really doesn't deserve you, right Kageyama?"

"Right."
Kageyama was an awkward person by nature, so hearing him talk about something that wasn't volleyball-related so confidently was honestly quite heartwarming.

"Thanks Hina-"

"There's more isn't there? Here- Kageyama, pick a cafe. Oh you're already pointing to one, alright. I know you like the onigiri from there idiot! It's not about your stupid onigiri though!" Hinata and Kageyama squabbled as I was dragged into the cafe. I glanced to Tsukishima, walking alone down the street and felt only a longing to be with him. I squeezed my eyes shut quickly, shaking my head to try and clear the thoughts.

Hinata found us a table and we sat down. Kageyama picked up a menu, obviously intent on eating despite what Hinata said. Hinata looked directly to me though.

"Tell me everything you're thinking about with Tsukki right now." He coaxed, though not in his usual peppy tone. Hinata was always good emotional support, he knew when to soften up for someone and when they just needed a good laugh,

I took a deep breath, relaxing my jittery nerves. Then I started to speak.
I don't know what possessed me to talk about this so freely to my teammates and friends, but I did and as soon as I started I couldn't stop.
I barely noticed as Kageyama looked up from his menu at us, apparently interested in what was going on now. I also didn't notice when I started to cry, but I must've because Hinata had handed me some tissues he'd actually stolen out of Kageyama's pockets.

I told them all about my feelings for Tsukishima, how at first it was just admiration but it and definitely grown, moreso in the last year. I told them about how I'd shouted at him during the Tokyo training camp and how he'd been more distant after that. I talked about how much I just wanted to be noticed by him and how it was probably unhealthy how much I needed his attention but I also told them about how I didn't care about that.
When I'd finished venting out everything Tsukishima I'd stopped crying and was just sniffling every so often into a tissue.

"Holy moly... I mean, I'd assumed you liked him but I didn't realise it was that deep." Hinata murmured after a moment of awkward silence.

"I'm sorry. Ugh just- I'm sorry, I have to go train with Shimada-sensei and I can't be late... goodbye." Before they could protest I'd already pushed myself up and hurried out of the cafe, running as fast as I could to me and Shimada's usual meeting place. Stupid stupid stupid! Why did I go and spill all of that? I probably looked so pathetic! I could never face them again oh God-

"Tadashi? You're early." Shimada walked out from the back of the shop next door and I greeted him, head banging to clear enough to register him being there.
"You forgot the ball again didn't you? Well, lucky for you I remembered one."

"Sorry Shimada-sensei." I murmured, dropping my bag off and catching the ball as he threw it to me.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Just start practising your floats right?" Shimada leant against his shop building, nodding for me to start.

I stared at the ball for a moment before taking a deep breath. I threw it up into the air and... ended up spiking it instead. Weakly, might I say, but it was a spike and not a serve. I stared at the ball, then at Shimada who just blinked and chuckled, rubbing his neck.

"Don't mind, give it another try. Remember to clear your mind, try focusing on one spot... like that brick. Remember? Safe spot?"

Safe spot... Tsukishima was usually my safe spot...

I threw the ball up and jumped forward, whacking my hand against the ball. It floated over to the brick I was aiming for perfectly and Shimada nodded approvingly from the sidelines.
Now was definitely not the time to think about Tsukishima. Now was the time to think a little selfishly. Me time...

Yeah. Me time.