Unreadable. Unreachable. Unrequited. | TsukiYama ✓

12

[Tsukishima]

Yamaguchi was avoiding me. I guess I kind of expected that, though it didn't hurt any less. He was somehow spending even more time with Hinata and Kageyama, if that was even possible since the trio already spent so much time together anyway.

It felt weird, walking home everyday and not having Yamaguchi's voice blabbering on about whatever he felt like talking about. Sometimes I wouldn't have music playing through my headphones at all and I'd just listen to his funny little stories like they were a podcast. I could even stand Hinata and Kageyama's oblivious flirtiness, because the company was just what I wanted.

The company I didn't have anymore because I took it for granted. Because I'm such an idiot.

Of course, blaming myself and wallowing in self-pity won't fix things. Yamaguchi doesn't deserve a half-assed 'I'm sorry', I've put him through so much shit he deserves a true sincere apology. Not that any apology I ever give isn't sincere, but you get the point. Yamaguchi is special.

Honestly? I need him.
I need him to stop me from walking into traffic when my music is too loud. I need him to drag me into dumb sports that eventually become somewhat interesting. I need him to be there for me when times are tough.
And he needs me too.
He needs me to stop him from walking into traffic when he's too caught up in his stories. He needs me to wake him up so we can get to that dumb sport he loves so much. He needs me to be there for him when things are tough.

I had two of those down, but I wasn't there for him. I was a terrible friend and the fact that it took him until he was crying for me to realise was.. horrible. I was horrible. I am horrible. But I need to fix it all so that I won't be horrible any longer.

Because otherwise, Yamaguchi will be completely and utterly unreachable.

I reached my house and pulled out my phone, opening up a group chat I hadn't looked at since the off-brand training camp. These people really were my last hope and I really hoped they'd come through, otherwise I didn't know what I'd do.

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
I need some advice.

Brokuto!! :D
Tsukki! Tsukki's texting!!

Akaashi Keiji
What's wrong Tsukishima-san? You never text unless something is wrong.

Kuroo is not dating Kenma
Tsukki~ good to see you again :)~

It's shitty, having to ask other people for advice on how to pick up the broken pieces of an important friendship, but I had no idea where to start. These were the only people I had left, my last resort. In all honesty, Akaashi would probably be the only one who actually took me seriously, but there were times were Kuroo and Bokuto surprised me.

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
Do you remember Yamaguchi?

Kuroo is not dating Kenma
That little shit sent me on a hike trying to find you when we visited! He sent me to that stupid pretty boy setter's school saying it was Karasuno >:(

Brokuto!! :D
Ha you deserved it bro,,
Anyway Tsukki, what's up with your little tree?

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
I fucked up. Badly. I need some help.

It hurt my pride to ask for help like this, but I'd gladly give all my pride away to have Yamaguchi back. It's a give-and-take situation, and all I'd seemed to give was hurt and pain until now.

Akaashi Keiji
What happened? We'll help the best we can. It's rare seeing you curse.

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
I guess I started being really distant with him and I ignored him a lot and I took him for granted was just a shitty excuse for a friend and he told me all of this and he was completely right and I just

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
Miss him. He was my first real friend and I completely took advantage of the fact that I was his too and it's all gone to shit. You are the only people I can tell, it's that bad.

Kuroo is not dating Kenma
Not even Shrimpy and the setter?

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
Not even them, they told me I'm on my own. I know, he's my friend it's my mess I should sort it and I will, I just need some help on where to start
I'm sorry

I let my phone slip out of my hands as my head dropped into them instead, covering my face. Why was I even bothering with 'the third gym squad', as Bokuto had named the group chat as, they probably wouldn't be able to help anyway.
I looked up as my phone chimed, signalling some new messages.

Akaashi Keiji
Okay. So, it's good that you're fully aware of what you did wrong. That's a good base to work up from. Honestly just do it at your own pace, to make sure it's from the heart.

Kuroo is not dating Kenma
When you apologise to your beansprout, which I know you're going to as soon as possible, you gotta make sure you're not coming across as giving excuses. Explanations Tsukki, not excuses

Brokuto!! :D
Do something for him that's special and out of your comfort zone, since I'm guessin the shy little guy was out of his comfort zone telling you all the crap you did
You've known eachother since forever right? He should know what would be outta the norm n special yeah?

I stared at my phone in surprise. I had expected Akaashi's answer, but for once Kuroo and Bokuto sounded intelligent.
Then, three messages made his phone ding almost at the exact same time.

Brokuto!! :D
Do something big and loud!! In front of lots of people, since you don't like people all that much

Kuroo is not dating Kenma
Do something in front of Shrimpy and setter and make sure you sound confident

Akaashi Keiji
Do something sincere and quiet, just a one-on-one would be fine

I watched in mild amusement as Bokuto and Kuroo started 'arguing' over which option is better and felt.. warm inside. These people weren't the types of people I'd initially thought they were, and Yamaguchi wasn't either. I'd severely underestimated the people in my life, huh?

Tsukishima not Tsukki.
Thank you.

Brokuto!! :D
AWWW TSUKKI

Kuroo is not dating Kenma
AWWWW HOW SWEET

Akaashi Keiji
Anytime, Tsukishima-san. Just make sure to jump some blocks with us next time we meet.

'I'll invite Yamaguchi too' I thought to myself.
'Because by the next time I see them, I'll have him back'