Unreadable. Unreachable. Unrequited. | TsukiYama ✓

5

[Yamaguchi]

I avoided Hinata and Kageyama as much as I could. I even skipped main practise, telling Coach Ukai that I had a doctor's appointment... what a fun excuse to use to skip practise. That meant I also missed out on spending time with Tsukishima but honestly, he was the last person I wanted to see.

After venting to the wonder duo and practising with Shimada, I'd come to realise that I really did spend too much time revolving around Tsukishima. I barely even knew myself by this point and that wasn't really healthy. I know I said I didn't care but...

Oh well. I guess I did.

So instead of going to Shimada to see if he was off his shift yet and could maybe possibly squeeze me in, I decided to run around. I used to run all the time to get up my stamina enough to be a regular on the junior high volleyball team, though after I joined Karasuno I didn't really have time for it in between actual practises and studying. It was nice to just be alone with my thoughts in the open air... that is, until I crashed right into a very tall someone who had just walked out of a side-street.

I stumbled and fell down, grunting in pain before looking up to see who I'd ran into.

"Sorry-"

"Oh yikes. Hey, do you know where Karasuno is? The high school." The mystery person asked, not really saying anything about my stupid little tumble. Wait hang on, I knew this person..

"...Kuroo-san?" I asked uncertainly, vaguely recognising the tall black-haired boy from Nekoma high. What was he doing here? Nekoma was all the way in Tokyo!

"Hm? Oh wait, you're Karasuno's pinch server right? The one that always hangs around Tsukki?" A grin spread on to Kuroo's face as he offered a hand to me, which I took gratefully to get up. "I didn't recognise you, you're not a regular right? Oh that must suck."

"Uh- I guess. I'm not as good as the others though so... no no no, hang on hang on. First, why are you in Miyagi? You live in the city!" Maybe it was the fact that he called Tsukishima 'Tsukki' that made me a little more ticked off than usual, I don't know. It's not like I owned the nickname.

"I got some of the highest grades on my exam so a group of us are on a field trip to see some sights you guys have here. I dunno. Anyway, I've just come to find Karasuno so that I can talk to Tsukki." Kuroo shrugged, stepping back. "So.. where is it?"

Now, this may have been petty. I may have been ticked off. I may have been confused because what kind of sights did we have in Miyagi compared to Tokyo? Like one museum?... or, it may have just been that I remembered Aoba Johsai was right round the corner that I pointed in the direction of it.
"Just up ahead there. Can't miss it." I murmured, not meeting his gaze in case my eyes gave away I was lying. I was a terribly liar. Tsukishima always saw right through me... Tsukishima...

"Nice thanks. Now Tsukki can't get rid of me so easily like he did the other day." Kuroo grinned at me before walking off confidently, hands tucked into his pockets. I stared after him, watching as he sauntered off before continuing my run.

The other day? The other day as in... When Tsukki was at his doctor's appointment? Oh how rich. What else did Tsukishima have to lie to me of all people about? Why'd he have to lie in the first place? Did he really not trust me? I thought we were friends!

I paused my run to clear my head, letting out a slow shaky breath. I didn't care, right? This was me time, right? Yama-time. Huh...

I'd never really felt alone like this before. It was a new kind of loneliness, one that probably hurt the most.

I'd not felt this alone when those kids picked on me in primary school. Tsukishima had been there for me in his own Tsukki-way and had made me feel worth something. I'd never minded when he would ignore me or tell me to 'shut up' because I knew it came from a place of caring and friendship. If we weren't close friends, he would've teased me like he does Hinata and Kageyama.

But now, to put it plainly, his vibes were off. He barely spoke to me, not even to tell me to shut up. I'd been replaced by the Nekoma captain and it had all happened right under my nose... and it was hurting my heart like all hell.

I didn't want to, I really didn't want to, but I knew I'd have to talk to Tsukishima about this. Holding it in would be stupid and would only hurt me more if one day he did leave me with no explanation.

Huh.. I'm talking as if we're a couple. We're not. We never will be. Because Tsukishima isn't in love with me like I'm in love with him.

My heart ached and made me feel numb, though it was kind of relieving to finally come to terms with it. It felt like a weight was finally off my shoulders. The weight of loving my 'best friend'.

I turned and started heading back to Shimada's shop, figuring it was nearly closing time for him and practise time for me. I got to his street and paused, seeing a familiar small mess of ginger hair right beside a tall shadow, drinking some milk. Hinata turned and brightened as he saw me, hurrying over. There was someone else with them but I couldn't really catch who because Hinata had leapt at me, using my shoulders as support as he boosted his jump up.

"Yamaguchi! Why weren't you at practise?"

"Doctor's appointment."

"Liar! Anyway, you won't believe it! A group of Nekoma kids are staying here for a week on a field trip. Look, it's Kenma!" Hinata pointed to his friend, who gave me a short wave. I returned the gesture and stepped back slightly.

"Oh yeah.. I saw the captain earlier."

"Kuro? I'm trying to find him. Do you know where he is?" Kenma asked, walking over with Kageyama awkwardly trailing behind. Hinata just seemed to drag him everywhere at this point, like a puppy.

"Ah... He might be around Aoba Johsai."

"Seijoh? Why's that?" Hinata stood beside Kageyama again and I couldn't miss the faint blush appearing on Kageyama's cheeks, though he tried hiding it. It's fine, I knew the feeling.
"Yamaguchi...?"

"Um.. So, I may have sent him there saying it was Karasuno because he was looking for Tsukki..." I trailed off, chuckling nervously.

"Ah."

"Tsukshima? Oh, he went looking for him... not yesterday, the day before? I think? Said something about 'blocking that bitch' or something." Kenma nodded to us, voice monotone and dull. He just sounded like he'd rather be anywhere but there, though if I remembered right that's just what the Nekoma setter always sounded like. "Thanks. I'll go find him. See you later Shoyo." He waved to Hinata before trudging off, looking bored as he pulled his game back out.

There was a moment's pause before...

"The day before yesterday? Tsukishima's doctor's appointment?" Kageyama murmured, tossing his empty milk carton in a nearby bin with scarily precise accuracy. Realisation appeared on Hinata's face and he looked to me... and I shrugged.

"Tsukki is a mystery." I chuckled, though it was clearly forced. "See you tomorrow. I'll be at practise after school... I really will." I gave them a small wave before hurrying past them to get to Shimada's shop.
Me time... right?