Take Her To The Moon

Chapter 29

Awsten's POV

We get to my apartment at around 4:00. Ryan seems a little nervous, so I do my best to try to make her feel more comfortable. These past couple months have been a little harder than most for more reasons than one and finally getting to see her again is exactly what I've been needing.

I open the door and watch her eyes as they wander across everything in the front room. She's hesitant to enter and kind of awkwardly stand at the door for a little before actually walking in.

"So, what do you think? Now I know, it's overwhelming because of how huge it is, but if you're as rich as me you've got to have a mansion." I say sarcastically. She laughs and walks over to where I'm standing by the couch.

"Oh, yeah, its very nice," She laughs, "You've got to give me the grand tour."

"Oh, shit, right," I lift up my hands and motion towards the room in front of us, "So this is the living room and the kitchen is right there," I point next to us.

She nods and walks around me. I lead the way to the tiny hallway where my room, the big bathroom, and a the tiny guest room are.

"So the good bathroom is in there, it has a shower and whatever," I realize now that I'm not sure where she's gonna sleep. I mean, I'd like for her to sleep in my bed with me but I'm not sure if that's too boyfriend-girlfriend-y. "Uhm, my bedroom is right here. The guest bedroom is right there and it's shitty but you can sleep there if you want. Or you can sleep with me."

"Either's fine." She quickly says.

"Right..." I need to change the subject. "Do you want to get something to eat later? There's this sushi place, like, two minutes from here that's pretty good."

"Okay, yeah. What do you wanna do now?" She rocks back and forth on her heels.

"We could watch Netflix or something. What's that show you said you like?" I lead her back to the couch.

"Gilmore Girls? I don't know if you'd like it." She laughs as we sit down on the couch.

"Too bad, we're watching it." This earns me a laugh from her.

It doesn't take long for me to find it. Upon inspection it looks like an early 2000's sitcom. If you don't already know what it's about, I'll summarize:
The mother and daughter live in a weird town and go through basic mother-daughter things, except the mother had said daughter when she was sixteen. That's pretty much it I think. It's not really my vibe, but it's her favorite show, so I'll watch it.

A couple episodes in both of the main characters are already in love. Interesting. It's around 5:30 when we finally get up from the couch and go out to eat. The sushi place I take her to is extremely mediocre. It has a cool vibe though, so I go there quite a bit. It's a seat-yourself kind of place so I lead her towards the back where I always sit.

"We can go somewhere else if you want." I say.

"This is fine, Awsten. Actually, this is good, great." She laughs to herself, something I find her doing a lot.

"Okay," Why am I so nervous? It's not like we've never been on a date before. "So you're home now. We can see each other pretty much whenever, right?"

"Yeah, it'll be great." She grins.

"Okay," I set down my menu, "Okay so what does that mean for us?"

A look of confusion crosses her face as she takes a sip of the water in front of her. "What do you mean?"

"Well we weren't together because you were away, right? Well you're home now, so does that mean-"

"I don't know." She blurts out quickly, shutting me up. Does she not want this? Her and me, me and her? I thought she did.

"What does that mean?" A pit is forming in my stomach but I do my best not to pay any attention to it.

"Oh, no, I mean, I want to date you, honest. I just..." She searches for the right words, "I'm worried that when I leave again it'll be worse. I mean, okay, being away from you for three months was hard, what about almost a full year? And then I'll go who-knows-where..."

"What do you mean 'who-knows-where'? You'll get your own apartment and move to LA and do music, like you wanted." I feel like I'm begging for her to stay, and I hate that. Wasn't that her plan, anyways? To finish school and then move back here?

"Yeah, I mean, that'd be great, but I'm not exactly Taylor Swift. I'm barely getting enough money to rent an apartment for next year alone, and I'm only paying for half. And that's in SLO. There's no way I could afford an apartment in LA."

What I say next comes out like word vomit. I cant stop it. It just keeps coming...

"You can move in with me!"

She looks scared, but also confused, but also a little excited? "Awsten, what-"

"I want to be with you, Ryan. I get that you're scared, really, I do, but we can handle it. I'll come down and visit you on weekends or something, I mean the drive is only two hours, and-"

"Okay, slow down. Do you wanna take a second to realize what you just asked me? We aren't even dating, Awsten. I haven't even known you for a year! We can't move in together." Is she getting mad? Why is this making her mad?

"I'm sorry," No, I'm not. I meant it. I may not have meant to say it out loud, but I don't take it back. "But my offer still stands. You don't have to answer me now, in fact, don't answer me now. Just let me know in a year, yeah?"