Forgotten ( Cameron Dallas )

chapter 31

" what are you thinking about " Cameron asked me as he continued driving to our destination.
" it may look like I'm in deep thought but really I'm thinking about what food to eat later " I said looking out of the rear view window.
" Cleo are you still mad at me for not remembering " he asked as his voice cracked in sorrow.
" I'd like you to remember me, but it's cool that you don't, you just need time " I said shrugging my shoulders and interrupting my actual real deep thoughts by looking at him.
it's a terrible thing, I think in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now actually that no one is ready to do anything. because what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.
" everything we've been through in the past, and know, will forever be in my heart, you know I love you, and if you didn't , now you do. but the memories we will make here, in New York, will be cherished and never forgotten by me " he responded after a brief moment.
I sighed as I looked out of my window.
all I could think about lately was NASh.
Hamilton
Nash
Grier
his name played in my head like a broken record.
the scariest thing about the distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget about you.
the worst feeling isn't being lonely, it's being forgotten by someone you will never forget.
my new life starting in New York, is a lot for me. I can start everything fresh.
no one there will know me.
my story.
only cameron.
NASHS P.O.V
have you ever loved somebody so much it made you cry?
it's where you try so hard to shut the feelings out, but you just can't, it bangs at the door wanting back in. and your poor heart that can't handle much stress, let's it back in.
it's a repeating cycle really.
I wish I had the words to explain how I am feeling as of now.
they say you never knew what you had until its gone, but the truth is, you knew exactly what it was, you just never thought you'd lose it.
I wish I would've told Cleo my feelings.
this all would've happened so differently.
maybe she would still be in my arms.
but it turned out with my luck, she was saying goodbye.
not even a " see you later " like I hoped she would.
I walked downstairs to get a granola bar.
walking down, I noticed a lose paper set on the counter, in a position where it seems like it wanted me to read it.
I walked over and saw the beautiful handwriting that I miss with all of my broken heart.
I slowly read the words aloud
' Nash,
my love.
please don't be upset. things happen for a reason. I'm sill looking for a lot of reasons for a lot of things, and hopefully I will find them while I'm gone.
I never wanted to say goodbye, but this is what this all has come to? us breaking apart our friendship and leaving for something worse.
I have no idea what it will be like when I move with cameron.
for my own good I honestly hope it goes well, but here and now, while I'm here, in youre heart.. let me explain some things.
love is the absence of judgement,
we don't have a court system to determine our love for one an other because we know it's real.
I don't love you in any sort of commitment way, but if love for a bestfriend is commitment, i truly do love you.
when the heart loves someone so
deeply, crazily, and divinely
it cannot love someone the same anymore.
it will stay faithful to the beautiful, and caring soul, forever.
you know it's love when you can't fall asleep, because reality isn't a dream.
I would be lying to every soul if I said losing you wouldn't matter to me.
it's nice when someone actually knows everything about you, not because you told them, it's because you pay attention.
and that's exactly what you did. you listened to my stupid ass girl problems that thankfully are over, and many more things.
but remeber nash, this isn't goodbye, it's simply just, see you soon.
have a nice life, and also don't forget, this had to be done.
I love you.
Cleo '
my beautiful baby.
I wiped my stray tear that screamed Cleos name.
i miss my girl so much.
I ran upstairs completely forgetting my granola bar craving and grabbed my phone.
Nash:
Cleo,
the hardest part of dreaming about someone you love, is waking up to seeing that person is gone. you know it.
it takes seconds to say hello, and forever to say goodbye. moving on is easy, but what you leave behind is what makes it hard.
it's hard when you miss someone so much and you can't do anything about it.
Cleo I miss you so much.
I love you so much my love.
how much I wish you were mine... words can't describe.
I really wish you didn't leave because all I seem to think about now is you.
I always have but your name is my heart beat.
I see you everywhere but I know it's just my dreams.
my family continuously asks me what's wrong with you and where you went, but I'm clueless on how to answer how the love of my life just completely went out of reach and escaped my grasp.
I've been longing to achieve a relationship with you.
and being your best-friend has been the highlight through this all.
thank you so much for your note.
I will never forget you.
just promise not to forget me.
~~
I set my phone down and long awaited a reply, getting one back 3 hours later at
11:37pm
Cleo: just got to the hotel love (: thank you so much nash, this made my day.
but my love, it breaks my heart hearing you like this, when honestly I'm nothing to bug about.
there are so much pretty girls out there and you want the one that is already taken.
babe, you will find another, I have to go.
goodnight.
Nash: Cleo you don't understand!!! I will never find anyone as amazing as you.
you are the highlight of my life.
Cleo: this is getting way out of hand. I don't want my bestfriend to be my secret lover. Nash this isn't cool.
Nash: Cleo I'm sorry that my love for you is being put way out of proportion but it just needs to be said.
Cleo: I'm going to bed.
Nash: Cleo don't!!
Cleo: Nash fucking leave my girlfriend alone! what the fuck!
Nash: cam, I want to speak to Cleo.
Cleo: I understand that but your not, the girl wants to go to bed, leave it at that.
Nash: okay okay.
Cleo: good fucking night.
~~
I sighed and set my phone down, just when I thought this couldn't get any worse...