2gether. (Sarawatxtine) ( On Hold)

S A R A W A T.

"There goes my heart beating

 'Cause you are the reason  I'm losing my sleep

 Please come back now,

There goes my mind racing 

and you are the reason that I'm still breathing

I'm hopeless now

I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean

 just to be with you and fix what I've broken,

oh! 'cause I need you to see that you are the reason"

I found this song randomly one day when I was going through my Spotify playlist, at first, it gave the vibe of just another English pop song, I was almost going to skip it to search some indie thai bands but then, I didn't, I just kept listening to it. my fingers hovering over the phone screen and as the lyrics started registering itself in my brain, a very familiar face invaded my mind.

it is weird, isn't it? how a certain song has the capability to become your reality? my heart stutters every time I mouth the lyrics of this song, while it plays in the background. 

Since I was a little boy, music has always been my safe space, my nirvana, it made me feel things, things that usually people in my boring life couldn't. As I was growing up, I understood that I was a bit different from my peers.

They liked chatting, I hated it. you couldn't get me to speak a sentence without being an ass about it.

They liked flirting, I couldn't stand it. made me feel like a clown.

They made friends, I just sat in a corner with my rusty guitar, trying to avoid the universe with the least amount of syllables uttered.

If I think carefully, I have been lucky to find friends like man and boss, who one day decided that they are going to keep me around or to be more precise kept bugging me until the time that I finally accepted them. Or should I say we just blended into each others life? but now, that I know how it feels to have friends like them, I could die for them. 

it is rare to have friendships like that.

I liked it when someone made me feel something because sometimes I think, I am not capable of feeling things on my one, don't get me wrong, I have the nicest family with loving parents and a younger sibling who could be annoying to death. I love them deeply, but this just who I am, I am not the warmest guy you will meet, I am cold and inexpressive, that is sometimes taken as a bad attitude problem. People believed that I was a rude fellow when all I try is to be straight forward.

I am the type of person who would keep things to himself so nobody bothers me, I liked my space.

then why does my mind keep filling with the memories of that nuisance?

 Tine had an angelic smile, it was public knowledge, but has anybody ever noticed his eyes? those two orbs that tend to speak even before the guy starts speaking. He has small but beautiful eyes and when he smiled they turn into slits, and I have never seen anything more adorable than that. His expressions really reflected everything he was feeling. I loved watching his face playing all those emotions, so I stared. shamelessly stared at him openly. It is better if nobody notices him anyway, I am not tempted to find out how that will make me feel.