We Found Love

twenty

I don't even remember what time it was, but late at night, I woke up and I couldn't fall right back asleep.

Staring at the ceiling, I tried to think of things that would cause me to doze off. I tried counting sheep, I tried doing multiplication tables in my head. But my mind was running with thoughts, and I didn't know how to make it stop.

I sigh and turn around, facing August. He, of course, was asleep. I couldn't help but study his face, and I notice that he has a faint scar along his jawline. "I wonder how you got that," I mutter.

August moves and my eyes widen, hoping that he didn't wake up because of me. But he settled down and faced the other direction, sound asleep once more.

All of a sudden, the thoughts that were in my head begin to fill up with memories of August and I. Has it been, what? Three months? Four? Since We Found Love began? It felt like these past few months have lasted for more. As if August and I truly were married and experiencing the couple life.

I lay on my back and stare up at the ceiling again. I mean, we obviously weren't married in the show. We didn't even end up having a "wedding" for the show. August's parents were bummed at the news, and my father didn't even respond to the letter I sent regarding the wedding cancelation.

I, on the other hand, was honestly relieved. It was my idea to not do the wedding episode in the end since I was uncomfortable with the idea of hosting an elaborate ceremony for something that is fake. But surprisingly, August was bummed at the idea of not having a wedding ceremony.

He told me that it "killed the vibe" with the way things were set up between us. According to August, we were already living together. We do all the things a conventional couple does and we even call each other pet names. The wedding ceremony would just be the icing on the cake.

I chuckle at the thought of a conventional couple. So, this is what they do? I wonder. Live together, have dinner together, confide with each other. Are all these things August and I are doing really what actual couples do?

In a way, that made me uneasy. Thinking back on it, it was a lot of effort complying with what Jennie and Gail wanted us to do.

"Emery, you've been stiff lately towards him. Just act cute and tease him!"

"He's done a lot for you in front of the cameras. Why don't you make breakfast for a change so that fans won't get the wrong idea from you?"

I never had a proper relationship before signing up to do We Found Love, so I was wary about doing all these "first" milestones within a relationship with someone who won't even date me in real life. But, in the end, all these personal memories I wanted to keep to myself have been broadcasted across the country.

Well, that's what you get for signing up for this show. I bite my lip and nod, agreeing with my thought. I shouldn't complain. After all, it's almost over. What's the use of overthinking past decisions?

Glancing back at August, I'm reminded of one of the idea August suggested in place of a wedding ceremony.

"Okay, there's a problem with the fact that we're no longer doing a wedding," Gail said. Her, August, and I were in one of the conference rooms of the We Found Love building, trying to figure out what we would do next.

"How about, instead of a wedding," August piped up. "We just do a super cheesy episode?" Gail raised an eyebrow. "Elaborate on that," She said.

August nodded. "Well, Emery would wear a nice white dress, I put on something a bit more dressy, and we go on a date. So, it looks like we're dressed up for a wedding when if fact we just dressed up for a date night."