Hidden Feelings and Hesitations

[9] Frankie

Friday night, I was at Harrison's house with him and Brady after a basketball game. We'd been messing around in his basement, taking turns on PlayStation, eating, and wrestling each other to the ground. It was the middle of the night now and the two of them were giving me shit over what had happened with Claire before we went on Christmas break. I'd told Harrison about it as soon as I'd gotten home and he'd brought it up several days later in front of B. I didn't really care that he knew because I knew he wouldn't say anything to anyone but us. Logan was still completely in the dark.

It felt petty to shut him out because he'd started dating Haylie, but I couldn't help it. Every time I looked at him, I got reminded of the party and the kiss and how frustrating it was to be caught in the middle of whatever the hell was going to end up happening between them.

"So was she good?" B asked the air above him. The three of us were each on a couch, staring up at the ceiling. All the lights were off since this was probably the last thing we'd do before we fell asleep. When we were little and it didn't matter that they were boys and I was a girl, we had sleepovers all the time. Then we got older and for a while, our parents weren't okay with it. I had been allowed to stay late, but never the whole night. And then finally, finally, once I'd established that I could never have any interest in doing anything with them, we'd been able to make a habit of it again.

"It's not like we really did anything, but I mean, yeah, sure," I told him, shrinking farther into my hood and the blankets covering me. "I'd kiss her again, easy."

"I can't believe she just like walked up to you and agreed to it. I never would've thought she was gay."

"That's the thing, I'm not entirely sure she is." My hand came up from its resting place on my stomach and rubbed my chin. "I asked her before we left and she basically said it depended on how good I am."

Harrison picked up his head and glanced over at me. "What? She did not."

"Yeah," I argued, "she said we'd find out, so that means if I can't turn her on, then she's straight and just fucking around."

We were quiet for a little bit, thinking over that and what it could've actually meant—though I was definitely right—until B finally broke the silence with another question. "Did you turn her on?"

I narrowed my eyes at the white paint above me. "How the hell would I know? I didn't feel her up. She said we'd wait until after the first date for that."

"So when are you asking her out? The way you've been lately, you make it seem like you're dying to get off."

I sat up and chucked a pillow at him as hard as I could, but he caught it and tucked it behind his head, completely unbothered. "What the fuck are you talking about? You don't know shit. And you're the one who's always asking around at school about girls who'd let you do them. Fucking pervert."

He started laughing at my subpar insult and defensive nature. "At least I can admit it."

"Excuse me for having a bit more class. Girls don't like it when all you can talk about is having sex with them."

"How would you know? Some of them are freaky like that."

"Man, last time I checked, my body count is bigger than yours and that's saying something, considering I practically have to take a fucking road trip if I want to get laid."

Harrison cracked up at that and propped himself up on his side. "She's got a point, bro."

"I don't know what you think is so funny, I've slept with more girls than you, too," I told him, watching as his shadowy figure slumped a little at my attack.