Hidden Feelings and Hesitations

[2] Haylie

I was up early Monday morning, unable to sleep any longer. I'd never needed much rest, even when I was younger. My parents had told me once that I'd stopped napping by the time I was two. Unfortunately, that meant I often went to bed past midnight and woke up before 6:30.

For a while, I laid on my bed, going through social media. It was nearing seven when I finally decided to get up and get ready. I started with makeup and clothes for the day, but kept both simple. Once my overalls and plain white T-shirt were on, I brushed out my hair. Normally, I didn't do anything with it since it was wavy and long enough that it didn't need anything more.

After I was done in my room, I went to the kitchen to grab breakfast. My parents had started working twelve-hour shifts at their jobs since my brother had turned sixteen and could drive us to school. Luckily, they were able to transfer to another hospital—both were in the medical field. They were always at work by seven, so it was my job to make sure Maya and Gavin were ready to go. Yay for being a third parent.

I settled for a bowl of cereal and pulled a book from my backpack to read. I always made sure to have one, but I didn't often have time to get through it. Still, I'd rather do that than mindlessly scroll through my phone.

Gavin stumbled into the kitchen just as I was washing out my dish. He muttered something that resembled a good morning and grabbed a pop tart from the pantry. I bent down to kiss his head as I passed him and went back to my seat. I'd never admit it, but he was my favorite sibling.

Maya was in her drama queen phase, she was constantly annoying me with her fixation on pointless things that happened at school. Alyssa and Jared were too busy with their lives elsewhere to pick up the phone when I called them, so that left me with my little brother.
He was a pretty carefree kid, able to easily adapt to whatever situation he was thrown in. Part of me envied that about him. I wasn't shy by any means, but like most people, I didn't like change that I wasn't expecting.

My sister took her sweet-ass time getting around, so she only had time to grab an apple from the bowl on the counter before I drove off without her. After I'd dropped Gavin off, I continued towards the high school. Thoughts of Friday night at Jules and Frankie's played through my mind. When we'd barged into the latter girl's room, my breath had caught in my throat. There was something about how she'd looked when she was annoyed that made my insides flip around. And then when she'd been so open about the fact that she's into girls... Her confidence was startling and I hadn't been able to get her out of my mind all weekend. My thoughts of her weren't exactly welcome, though. The way I'd become so focused on her was unnerving. She might like girls, but I didn't.

In any case, I wasn't going to push anything. I'd only just met her and I was still building my friendship with Jules. I didn't even know if she had a girlfriend or if she was looking for one.
While I was walking inside with my sister, I caught a glimpse of one of her friends out of the corner of my eye. Brady was leaning against the lockers, talking to some boys I didn't know the names of. He looked up and waved when he recognized me, so I smiled and waved back. Both Jules and Frankie had great taste in friends. There was no fighting or underhanded comments or secrets. It kind of sucked that I'd somehow waited until senior year to find people like that. They were so... unproblematic.

"Do you like him?" Maya asked from beside me, eager to talk about my potential love life.

"What? No, he's someone I met on Friday when I went to my friend's house. Her sister's friends with him and we all hung out."

"So? That doesn't mean you can't like him."

I rolled my eyes and wished she would drop it. "Well I don't like him. He's a friend and he's not my type."