Hidden Feelings and Hesitations

[15] Frankie

My heart had felt so heavy when I saw Haylie talking to Logan. It was private, which I figured meant it was important. Maybe she was finally telling him the truth.

I laughed to myself as that thought crossed my mind. She'd stood in the bathroom less than ten minutes ago and told me she couldn't—didn't—want anything to do with me. There was no way she'd ever be honest with him.

Without even thinking, I pulled my phone out of an inner pocket on my suit jacket and brought up my messages with Claire.

My dad's reception is over soon. Are you home? Before I sent it, I drew in a deep breath and hoped that she'd been serious about wanting to have sex.

She didn't answer right away, so I headed down the hallway to the stairs. The rooms we'd gotten ready in were on the second floor and it was the only place I thought I could stand to be. I was planning to just hide up there until it was time to send Dad and Cindy out into the night for the first time as a married couple.

Ugh. Marriage. Right now, the entire concept seemed so sickening. My stomach flipped and twisted at the prospect of making that kind of commitment to any girl besides the one who'd broken my heart tonight. Love felt like some made-up concept that was impossible to actually obtain.

But I knew that wasn't the case. I knew what I felt for Haylie was very clearly love. There was no other explanation for why I would've jumped at the chance to be with her, even if it was behind one of my friends' back. Not anymore, though. Now I had to work on getting over her because I knew I couldn't be a part of her confusion anymore. Claire was my only way to do that, whether it was just sex or not.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I looked down at the notification for a new text.

Yeah, I'm home. My parents are out, if that's what else you were wondering.

I still felt sick as I grinned at the message and sent another back. Be ready in forty-five minutes, gorgeous.

...

When Claire opened her front door, all she was wearing was a giant T-shirt that skimmed the middle of her thighs. Something inside me went a little weak at her choice of clothing and her messy hair. The sick feeling from before started to surface slightly as I realized I wasn't seeing anything more than a body. The girl standing in front of me could've been my worst enemy and I wouldn't have cared. I just needed someone to get my mind off of Haylie.

She stepped to the side and let me in before she shut the door behind me. "Hey, um, how was the wedding?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Did you not want it to happen or something?"

"Claire, seriously, I don't."

"Okay," she quietly gave in, her expression telling me that she wished she never would've asked. "Sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your problem."

She gave me a single nod and started to say something else. "So, is there—"

I cut her off when I closed the distance between us and kissed her. "I didn't come here to talk."

"Got it." She pushed my jacket off my shoulders and down my arms. Neither of us paid attention to it as it hit the floor. Her fingers were already working the tiny buttons on my shirt out of their holes. One of my hands went to her waist and around to the small of her back. A finger on my other lifted her chin so her eyes would meet mine.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, princess?" I asked her in a whisper.

"Anything for you, Frankie," she murmured back. I didn't know what I would've done if she said no. She kissed me as she undid the last button, but I didn't feel anything. My heart was somewhere else and both of us knew it.