Relapse

Understand

One month later

Erin's POV:

"So, you're getting out today right?" Dana, who was sitting on the bed across from mine asked.

"Yep, five PM check out," I smiled weakly.

I didn't have a roommate for the week. Not until I got moved to a different room in a different ward, the 'voluntary inpatient ward'. Then I was put with a lady named Ulyssa who left three days later and then I was put with Dana. Dana's story was quite different than mine.  She had severe anxiety and was prescribed medication, she started taking more than she was supposed to. Soon, she was taking all sorts of drugs and one thing led to another until she self-admitted herself here. 

I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked out the window. 

"You don't seem too excited, what's wrong?" Dana asked.

I shook my head "Nothing, I'm good." 

She raised her eyebrow "Uh-huh."

"Really, it's nothing."

"C'mon Erin, you can tell me."

She was right, over the past three weeks we had become quite close. I knew that whatever I told her would stay between us.

"It's just that, however bad this place is, I'm surrounded by people who get it, you know? Out there in the real world, I have to face the people that I've hurt, people who don't understand. Here, no one will judge me. Besides, I don't know how long I'll be able to stay out anyway," I admitted.

Dana sighed "You're right people are different out there, but that's part of it. Talking to the people who your actions harmed that's part of the healing process. As far as being able to stay out, Erin, you've got this. There have been some bumps along the way, but you've come a long way since I met you."

I nodded "You're sounding more and more like Dr. Thompson every day," I smiled.

Dr. Thompson led the group therapy sessions and Dr. Jaxon was my individual therapist, whom I had one more session with before I was checking out. It was nearing eleven, so I decided to actually get up and get ready for the day.

Halstead's POV:

"Daddy!" Henry came running at me as soon as I walked into Voight's house. 

Henry had immediately started growing close to me, while Nadia, who called me Jay was keeping me at arm's length.

"Is mommy, coming back fwom the hospital today?" Nadia asked.

They both had been asking me daily where Erin was and when she was coming back. Voight had told them that she was sick and was going to be staying at the hospital for a little while, which wasn't too far off from the truth. I checked the date on my phone to see, that yes, in fact, Erin was getting out of rehab today.

"Yeah, Nadia, she is," I said without emotion.

I didn't know how to feel about her getting out. Most people had gone to see Erin while she had been in rehab, but I'd opted out of doing that. Voight had explained to me that she really was trying to get better and that she had apologized for everything profusely.

"Hey Halstead," Voight greeted me.

I nodded. Both the kids had run off to go play outside.

"What time," I didn't need to elaborate any further for Voight to know what I meant.

"Five, are you wanting to come?" Voight knew the answer to his question before I answered.

He had asked me before if I wanted to go see Erin, but I had always answered the same way. Voight had said that she had actually asked me to come to visit once, but I couldn't do it.

"I'm busy," I lied.

Voight nodded "You're going to have to see her at some point, you can't avoid her forever."

"I know, I'm not avoiding her I'm just busy."

Erin's POV:

It was just after three-thirty and I was sitting in my final meeting with Dr. Jaxon.

"This is our final session if I'm not mistaken?" She asked. 

I nodded.

"So, how are you feeling about that?"

"I don't know, fine I guess."

"Are you feeling anxious at all, nervous about seeing anyone in particular?"

"No, I'm ready to be out of here," I said, half trying to convince myself of that. 

The session droned on for a whole hour and ended with Dr. Jaxon saying she was proud of me. I'd smiled and expressed gratitude for everything she'd done for me. 

"You've come so far, despite the setbacks. I think you're ready, just make sure to keep taking your medication," Dr.  Jaxon finished as I stepped out of her office.

She'd prescribed me an anti-depressant even though I didn't think I needed it. I sighed and thought back to a day only a few days into my stay here. It was late and only the night staff was at the rehab center. A fourteen-year-old girl in the teen ward had managed to overdose on the contents a pill bottle she'd managed to get her hands on and she was dying. None of the night staff had been CPR certified so they had called for anyone who was. I'd volunteered to help stabilize the girl. After the fact, I'd swiped a bottle of anxiety medication that had been left out on the side table. The next morning I'd found Dr. Jaxon and simply placed the bottle in front of her, saying I didn't take anything before walking off. She'd brought it up in our session later that day. That was the second time I'd done something I shouldn't have over the course of my stay.

I spent the last thirty minutes of my time in rehab talking to Dana. As the clock struck five, I hugged Dana, telling her goodbye and followed a nurse to the front of the building where I saw Hank waiting for me. 

"Hey kiddo," he smiled as he saw me.

"Hey," I replied.

The nurse explained some things to Hank and I before giving him my medication. Hank led me to his car and I closed my eyes and leaned back in the seat. 

"You ready to go home?" he asked, "Jay's watching the kids."

"Yeah, I'm definitely ready," Hank nodded and drove towards his house.