A Million Dreams [Completed] - Revision

Chapter Four

Naramdaman ko na lang ang gawang paghalik ni Felix sa noo ko. Kitang kita ko sa mga mata niya ang pagod pagdilat ng mata ko. Malaki ang ibinagsak ng katawan ni Felix ang ang laki na rin ng eyebags niya. It's been almost a week since we last spoke after our argument. "Felix..." mahinang tawag ko sa kanya pero sapat na iyon para marinig niya.

"Hmm?"

"Are you still angry with me?" I asked him, gently caressing his face. "I miss you."

"Hindi. Hindi ako galit sa 'yo," he softly replied to me. Felix gently took hold of my hands and placed them on his face. "Wala ka bang pasok? Bakit ang init mo? Nilalagnat ka ba?" Hinawakan niya 'yung leeg ko. "Shoot! Ang init mo."

Felix gently kissed the back of my hand and picked up a wet towel. He placed it on my forehead and took some medicine from the container. "Here, drink this."

"Thank you," I said appreciatively, before taking the medicine Felix gave me.  

"Hon, can we talk?" Felix aske after I finished taking my medicine.

I nod in response.

"I was able to find a job. I'm ready to double my workload, just don't work. Stay here at home."   He tightly held my hands, conveying a strong desire for me to agree with his decision.

"Hindi ba nakakapagod 'yon?" I asked him, seemingly concerned about what he was thinking. "Kaya ko naman, e. Hindi pa naman ako paralisado para huminto sa trabaho, kakasimula ko nga lang oh. Tiis tiis lang muna tayo, Felix."

"Makinig ka naman sa'kin oh," he leaded. "Kakayanin ko, please. Pumayag ka na."

"Felix naman..."

I'm uncertain about agreeing to his request because I'm concerned about him shouldering all the responsibilities at home. Having only one job is already exhausting, so I can't imagine how tired they must be thinking about getting another one.

"Please, Wendy, please..."

I could see in his eyes that he really wanted his decision and wanted me to support that, and I couldn't do anything but agree with what he wanted. After agreeing, I felt Felix's support from my behind and he rested his chin on my shoulder, "I love you." 

Felix has started his double job. He decided to temporarily stop studying and prioritize my education instead. He works as a waiter in the morning and a bartender at night. His body was exhausted from the work he was doing while I was left at home, focused on studying.

I somehow feel guilty na hinayaan ko si Felix sa naging desisyon niya.

Hindi maipinta ang mukha ko habang nagko-compute sa sala ng mga gastusin namin ngayong buwan. I regularly monitor our bills to figure out our estimated expenses for a month and how to reduce them. Napahawak na lamang ako sa sintido ko saka sumimsim ng kape. Bakit ganito 'to kataas? Pagtatanong ko sa sarili as I hold in one hand the receipts of our meals and in the other the stack of bills, along with the mounting debts for school and rent.