My bully

Part 2

The moment I arrived at school I got the same sensation of being invisible to others, even though there's plenty of people in here, it is nothing rare since it's 7 am, and do I got friends?.....No, and honestly I'm pretty ok with it because I can focus more on my own business in school, but sometimes I wish I can trust someone or at least telling somebody about my problems, but I feel that if If I do it they are gonna be bored of listening some old fashioned girl's problems, or in the worst cases make fun of me. I've been thinking about seeing a doctor, but I don't have enough resources to see one, and the school's phychologist doesn't really work, I've heard stories from others when I'm in class that said that he falls asleep while you're talking.....I don't think I have the right to criticize someone, but I really think that's very low professional.

I got to my classroom to see my classes, today the first class I got is physics, I always try to pay attention, but I really dislike the teacher, she doesn't really know how to explain the subject plus the fact they are pretty difficult subjects to understand even if they are explained by a good teacher, anyway, the class goes by and I take notes of everything she tries to explain and of course I write down some formulas that may help me on the tests.

As the time goes by the bell starts to ring, producing an alarming sound all around school giving us the advice that it is time for our break, much people are reliefed about the fact that the class is over and they have some free time, much people use that time to eat, talk to their friends, study or just chill, but for me.... well I just go to the cafeteria to buy my lunch and then go far away as fast as possible, or she will see me... and will start to bully me, and honestly, I prefer her to do it when there's no one around and I save myself the trouble of not being seen by the whole school being humillated, it happened a few times and I really hate it.

after buying my food I go straight away to the football field to sit under the banks to get some protection from the sun, and yes that's my favorite place to go in the whole school, and go there on every break to have lunch, it helps me to think, to study or I can sit down and let the time by.

I grab my food and while heading to the cafeteria exit I turn my head into the area where everyone is sitted down talking with their friends while eating, before leaving I manage to spot a particular table.... it's her. I feel my face blush a little bit by just looking at her blonde hair, and I never ignore the fact that her face factions are perfect (at least for me), she looks like a super model, and the outfit that she's wearing remark her curves, she looks happy while talking with two of her friends, thinking about it, she's always with those two since the first year, they must be chilhood friends.

After two seconds of admiring the beauty of the person I feel attracted to I couldn't help it and a little smile escaped from me, then she moves her head a little bit trying to spot something, or she's just moving a little bit after some time sitted, I don't know, but I loved the way her hair slightly moved.

Then before getting back into her business, I see how her sight is pointing at my direction without knowing that I'm into her range of view. But she spoted me... I see how her eyes start looking directly at me and after a second her little but beautiful smile slightly changed into a serious semblant looking directly at my eyes.

fuck.

I need to get out fast from here.

I am now at my little place which I mentioned before, having my lunch as usual thinking about what just happened in that place, even though it isn't a big deal.

I really should left in the instant I saw her and not keeping look at her.

She saw me, she already thinks I'm a weirdo, but I don't want to let her know that I like her, or she will humillate me in front of everyone.

Well at least she knows that I exist.

But I think I'm safe now, and I guess she didn't follow me, anyway, why would she follow me to where I go, it's not like I'm really that important, or usefull, or like someone wants to talk with me

yeah, she sure didn't follow me

-hey weirdo

oh god, what is she doing here?

-oh........ehhhhhh, hi?

-I noticed you were watching me on the cafeteria, what the fuck do you want now you loser?

-ehmm...... Did I look to you?

I was extremly nervious, as well as scared, I tried to lie to not get things worst, but of course she is not an idiot, she just decided to confront me..... as usual.

-DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE YOU WIERDO,WHY THE HELL WERE YOU LOOKING AT ME? YOU THINK THERE'S SOMTHING WRONG WITH MY FACE? YOU THINK I'M AS UGLY AS YOU YOU DUMB BITCH?!

-Please, I'm sorry I didn't mean it, it's just tha..... *she just slammed the rest of the soda I bought into my head*

-I don't want you to have that dumb image of me, honestly I think the exact same thing about you, but in this case It is true, goodbye loser.

She leaves and leaves me there with my body wet from the soda she threw me, my mind is blank, I can't think properly right now, Why does she treats me like shit everytime?, Am I really that dumb and ugly? What do I have to do to change that image she has on me? What do I do to change her?

Why do I like her?

I got nothing better to do and I head to the bathroom to clean myself, so I head to the bathroom to use the sink, after I use it I see myself on the mirror and I remember all of her words, it doesn't take 10 seconds for me to start crying, it hurts when the person you like hurts you this way... I fucking hate it.

I don't go to the classes and I just spend the rest of the day in school sitting where I was before, always thinking about this issue, I need someone to listen to me so I can feel better, but I don't know someone, and my mother wouldn't even care since she's always out of the house either for work or because she is with a new girl she meets on her work, and yes, she also likes girls, that's why she got divorced from my dad.

My father after the discussion she had with my mother about why she didn't love him anymore putted him into a deep stage of depression for a few months, resulting in his suicide after that. But honestly, I don't remember too much of my father, I was only two years old when that happened.

After a few hours passed the bell rings for a last time, telling everyone it is time to go home.

-Finally

As I head towards my house I notice that in front of me there's the girl I had trouble with earlier, walking towards her house to but with her two friends with her, I manage to hide myself so she doesn't see me, thankfully this time it did work.

I waited enough time hidden behind the wall so she couldn't see me, then, I left and kept on my way.

I arrived home, I was heading to my room when I saw my mom sitted on the couch in the living room with a woman I haven't seen before, I know what she is gonna do, she is gonna make her drink enough to make her vulnerable, then she is gonna seduce her and of course my mom will take her to her room, sometimes I can hear the moans at night.

I put my stuff in my bed and then procceed to do some of my homework and then write about my shitty day on my diary, then go to sleep

Time passes and I did what I had to do, now it's bedtime, I go down to the kitchen to grab some water, and I notice that my mom and that woman are not in the living room now, my mom probably did what she always does and now,  well..... she is having some fun.

As I enter to my room again with the glass of water in my hand all I did was turning off the lights and put the glass of water on the desk. I lay down my bed so I can finally rest for now.

-What a fucking day,

It's all I said after getting comfortable on my bed under my blankets.

-Will I dream with her tonight?

I said before closing my eyes and being finally asleep.

Tomorrow will be another day