Wild Watchtower: Shield & Claw Book One

Chapter Sixteen: Out of Time

I watched my sister's coach disappear, feeling far more grief at her departure than I could ever have predicted. When any of my siblings left, I'd miss them, but over the last few weeks, I'd rediscovered just how similar Fiáin and I actually were. She could have been me ally, and me hers. And if she'd stayed, she might have even become my beta wolf in her own right, supplanting Éiri, who I'd always expected to hand the role to at least for a while, before he left to begin his own pack and my own heirs climbed the ranks.

Aoibhinn's hand slid into my own, squeezing gently, as if the female at my side new my thoughts had taken a mournful turn. She leaned against my side as we watched the crowds who'd come to wave off Fiáin begin to disperse, and whispered, “She is going where she needs to be, my male, just as you are where you need to be.”

Whatever Aoibhinn knew, I wanted to trust her, because at least she'd given me clues when my own parents had remained unnervingly silent on the matter of Fiáin's future. I'd been surprised when the High Priest had asked to speak to her, but that request only supported Aoibhinn's claims further; my sister had something to do, just as I had a war to fight, and perhaps we could only come through the storm by going our separate ways.

“I feel like we're running out of time,” I noted, without meaning to, and my siblings turned towards me, frowning at my observation.

Father sighed, his head tipping back as he looked into the brilliant blue of the late summer sky, and he answered, “Because we are out of time, son. She needed to leave, and in truth, I’m pleased she left early enough to be well south of the causeway before it happens.”

An unnatural still fell over us all as we stared at Father, none of us expecting him to make such a statement. Maybe he hadn't mean to make it either, but now he’d done so, there was nothing he could do to take it back. He cast a regret-filled smile at my mother, his hand resting lightly against her baby-bump, as an unspoken apology flickered in his expression; his regret that he might not get to meet his final cubs.

“Come. I need to speak with you all,” he announced, then urged Mother towards the door of the watchtower, trusting the rest of us to follow.

“What's going on?” Éiri asked, wary and hesitating as our parents disappeared inside.

“You know what's going on,” I answered, hating that we all knew; that the prophecy had overshadowed every day of our lives. “I'm pleased Fiáin took it back; her claim that she hated him. She might not get another chance.”

Céillí's eyes widened in horror at my admission, as she pleaded, “Don't say that! It's too soon!”

Aisling’s brows pinched together, a deep crease settling on her brow as she demanded. “I need to hear you say it. Don't hint at it. Say what you mean.”

“It isn't my place,” I murmured. “Father...”

“If I'm correct over what you're hinting at, then Father will not be our alpha for much longer,” Éiri observed, his voice cracking with barely contained emotion. “You will be the one who is required to deal with this, so just tell us, brother; tell us the real reason Father wouldn't let us take Lord Styrkr to the sacred ash, and the real reason he's sent Fiáin away...”

Sighing, my shoulders sagging, and I admitted defeat; my siblings wouldn’t be dissuaded and so I confessed, “The tree began to turn a while back. It's leaves we're already falling the last time Father and I made the trip. I don't know exactly why Fiáin's been sent away, except that several people have foretold that she has a part to play, a part that requires her presence elsewhere. Father made me promise not to tell anyone about the tree, and it's Aoibhinn who told me about Fiáin's importance.”

“Aoibhinn?” Éiri and Aisling said together, turning to the female next to me.

“How do you know anything?” Céillí demanded in consternation, her tone so accusatory that a snarl rumbled out of me in response, and I positioned myself between my sister and my... my... Did I dare make the claim that I so wanted to make? Did I dare announce that Aoibhinn would be their next alpha female, perhaps sooner than any of us would like?

As my thoughts tumbled over themselves, I barely notice Céillí submit, tipping her head to offering her throat, granting me the power of life and death over her, as easily as she would've done for Father.

“She's got something more than wolf in her,” Taibh interjected, taking everyone by surprise. “I mean, we all do if the legends are to be believed, but her mixed heritage is more recent.”

Even Aoibhinn stared at my brother in shock, and no small amount of anxiety. Then her gaze flicked to me as she straightened, looking uncertain as she mumbled, “I understand if you don't want me... because I'm... of mixed heritage.”

I hadn't expected her to agree with Taibh's suggestion. I'd expected a challenge, and both her acceptance of the accusation and her suggestion that I might  not want her caught me off guard.

“You're a wolf. I've seen you as a wolf,” I answered, perplexed. “You don't smell of elves or humans. And nothing you could say changes how I feel. You will be my mate. You will be alpha female of the Túrfaire pack.”

She shook her head, insisting, “You might not feel that way once you know the truth... I don't even know what your brother knows, or how he knows it.” She glanced at Taibh, asking, “What do you know?”

“I overheard two of the priestesses talking, when we were at the temple,” Taibh admitted, sounding apologetic as he shuffled, nervous energy radiating from him. “I listen a lot. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to overhear... Not that you were particularly discrete when you saw the statue of Nemon. What is she to you? Grandmother? Great-grandmother?”

“Mother,” Aoibhinn admitted, looking anguished at that confession.

I choked, freezing, a thousand denials running through my mind. Was she mad? But no, when the High Priest crowned her Harvest Queen, he had said he knew what she was. Divine blood would certainly explain her abilities as an oracle, and the ‘otherness' I'd sensed when I first saw her. But if Nemon was Aoibhinn's mother, that would make her a demi-god, and so far beyond me that I couldn't comprehend it.

Damn it! I'd nearly taken her that first day in the clearing, if my family hadn't interrupted... That would've been sacrilege. This female, this beautiful female; she deserved a god, not some doubt-filled wolf who wasn't even sure he deserved his own position, never mind a claim on her.

“I was afraid you'd look at me like that. Like I'm less because I'm the daughter of war and death,” Aoibhinn stated, lowering her gaze to avoid meeting my eye. “I'll leave immediately.”

“Don't!” the word burst from me in more desperation than I'd ever admit to later. “I don't think you're less, my female. It’s that I think I’m not enough. You're a demi-god, the daughter of a battle goddess... and I'm just... I'm just me. How can I hope to keep you, or ask you to submit to me as your alpha, when you deserve so much more; when you deserve to be enthroned beside a god?”

“But I don't want any old god,” she replied, finally looking up at me, her brow creased and tears in her eyes. “I want you. You are what I've dreamed off since before I knew what prophecies are, or what my heritage is. I want Cróga Túrfaire, future alpha male and guardian of the first watchtower, descendant of the Great Wolf, of the first god known to wolfkind.

“Don't you understand everything you are, my male? Don't you understand that heritage and obligation make you my equal in every way? I will submit and follow you because I believe you to be worthy of my respect. You don't get to decide that for me. My respect will be given based on my own perception, not on your self-doubt,” Aoibhinn insisted, her frown growing deeper with each word.

I wanted to argue that she would change her mind, that one day she'd realise that she'd made a mistake, but her hazel and green eyes begged me to believe her; to believe that she wanted me, and only me.

“Please trust me,” Aoibhinn pleaded. “I didn't travel the length of the country to come to your side because I wanted a wolf to provide some temporary amusement. I came because you are what I want, and because I think I can help you become what you must become.

Seeing her plead made something in my chest ache, and instinct demand I comfort her, protect her from her fears, and right then there was only one way to do that. Pulling her against me, I cupped her face between my palms and pressed firm kiss to her lips, showing her how much I wanted her. Her body aligned with mine, pressing against me in a way that made my body heat, while her mouth opened for me, her tongue teasing mine so that a low, rumbling groan escape me. My female smiled against my lips, and my hands slid down, over her shoulders then down to her derrière, holding her in place as I smiled too.

“Mine,” I breathed, a simple claim that swore so much; my loyalty for the rest of my life.

“Yours, my mate, my alpha,” she answered, and despite not being ready to take my father’s place, hearing her address me as her alpha settled some of the anxiety inside of me. It felt right, and that came as a surprise; I suspect no other could have elevated me to the position and soothed me at the same time.

“Come; we should head inside before Father loses all patience with us,” I said at last, guiding Aoibhin back towards the tower's door.

My siblings and cousins filed after us, following without question to the hall where Father, Mother, and Aunt Eadránaí waited. We took our seats, silent and wary as Father looked over us, his eyes almost as glassy as Mother's.

“I need you to know that I won't submit,” Father began, his tone slow and measured. “As alpha, I will serve this citadel and my pack until my dying breath. I will fight for it, and for you, until I can no longer do so, with every intention of living. But we cannot avoid the truth; the time of prophecy draws near, and whether I take a stand or cower and hide, my time as your alpha may be drawing to a close. If I cower away, fleeing or seeking shelter elsewhere, then I would be unworthy of the title, and our pack would be required to choose a new alpha. If I stand, as I have always stood, then I could die, and join our ancestors in the halls of the gods. There is honour in that, and so I choose to remain, and stand, safe in the knowledge that I have a strong heir to follow me, and that each of you are strong in your own right. You can survive what is to come, because you are...”

His voice cracked, and he took a shuddering breath before continuing, “It's been an honour to see you grow and learn, to become the people you are. I am so proud of you, each and every one of you. Trust each other. Support each other. What is coming will be the most difficult time you'll ever face, but you can cone through it, stronger, braver, and wiser than you believe. You can be an example to our kind, and to others. You will be fearless, and I wish I could see everything you will do, to cheer for your victories, mourn your losses, and remind you that I believe in all of you, that I've always believed in you.”

When his gaze met mine, a small smile tugged at his lips, “You will command our fleet, and put the King's fleet to shame. Don't be afraid of the difficult decisions, and of making a stand, even against allies, to do what is right. You will command respect and influence, and it has been an honour to see you become what you are; a wolf I am in awe of.

“I know you think that Aonair holds the beta position because he is more suited to it than you are; that he is stronger. But I need to tell you... Aonair wanted to step down years ago, because he began to struggle with the urge to submit to you, as your subordinate. He retained the position of beta only because I begged it of him, and because you never pressed the matter. I begged it of him, not because I thought you unworthy, but because I wanted to lessen your burden for as long as possible. You had enough weight on your shoulders, between the prophecy and readying the fleet, and I wanted to give you as long as possible without further obligation. But now, I think that time is over, and you must take your place, not as beta, but as alpha male of the Túrfaire pack. You will lead well, my son. I promise.”

My own throat closed, my eyes stinging as I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Aoibhinn's hand slid into mine, squeezing gently, but even she couldn't comfort the pain I felt, knowing that my father handed me the reins, because despite his promise to stand, the oracles were rarely wrong.

“And I know you disagree with my decision to send Fiáin from Cuannagealán. Many times, when you challenged me, I wanted to submit to you,” Father added, and my head jerked up in surprise, to see the wry smile on my alpha's lips. “On any other matter, I might have done so, and you might have become alpha because you are ready for it. But I had an obligation to both you and your sister, that required me to keep fighting, no matter how much instinct demanded I submit.

“You see, you aren't the only one who will be called on to be more than you think you can be. While your fate and mine was determined on the day of your birth, Fiáin's wasn't revealed until Misniúil’s death. The day I laid my son in his tomb, the High Priest came to me, and told me that one day I would have to make a choice; that I could send his twin sister away, or condemn her to an early grave and an unfulfilled life. He said she had to be on the mainland, before the first cannon fires towards our tower, because only from their can she right a betrayal that could see all of Tirlaochra fall. You must guard the north, so that she can rouse the south, and together, you will bring us through the war.

“Perhaps I should have told you all. Perhaps I should gave told her. But after what happened with Mis... I wasn't sure she could bear the weight. I didn't want to put that burden on her, having already seen the worry overshadowing your childhood. I made the decision to shelter her until I could no longer do so. And when the white wolf reappeared... I realised we were too close to her sharing her twin’s fate. I had to send her south, and the Faireinbhear offer granted me an excuse to position her without adding to her fear. It gave her an excuse to defy, and excuse to stand, and by doing so, I hope she discovers the strength to do all that she must do, without me inciting terror.

“When next you see her... tell her that I am sorry for the deception, that I was sorry to the end, but that I always had her best interests at heart, and that I always believed in her strength.” He chuckled, a too-knowing look in his eyes as he added, “You will both play your game well, until it's no longer a game. You will be mighty.

His gaze flicked to by brothers, sisters, and even my cousins as he insisted, “You will all be mighty. It has been an honour to serve as our alpha, and a pleasure to be your father or uncle. Stay loyal to each other. Have each other's back’s. No matter how grim the future seems, take solace in your pack; comfort and strengthen each other, and you will come through the darkest of times.”