Fun Undertakings and Cool Kollections

I'm so pissed off

Fuck my fucking schedule. It's an absolute mess and I hate everything that caused it.

Let's start with the elephant in the room: I didn't get the classes I wanted. I wanted Psychology and Culinary Arts. I learned today that I can't take either because of scheduling conflicts and prerequisites. I've lost all motivation for my senior year of high school.

I just...I feel so alone nowadays. 95% of my friends are graduating this year, and the other 5% don't share classes with me. I mean, I'm used to distance. Hell, one of the people I hold dearest to my heart lives 5,000 miles away. I just wish I could get along with people my age. I always feel I have to inhibit my own behaviors to be relatable and I hate doing that. Eventually, I just stopped hiding. If you don't like me, then you don't need me. I'm glad I was able to find people who did like me, because eventually, I started growing animosity towards myself.

I should be happy for my Senior year. It's my last year of high school! But, as I get closer, the more I dread it. Parents are forcing expectations on me, I can't focus, and I can't find solace in many people. I don't want to be alone, because then I only have myself, and I hate myself!

I just want to be at ease again.

Sorry that was such a depressing part. In uplifting news, one of my new favorite emojis is  this one: 💕. I think it's really cute! Still doesn't top 😈 though.