runaway [l.h] book 2

2.0

"M- Michael I didn't know-" he cut me off saying "Cody, it's fine." he says sitting down at the edge of his bed.

"Michael it's not. You're sad, maybe even suicidal, I don't know-"

"once. two days ago." he replied chuckling.

"why you laughing about suicide Michael?" I asked.

"Because I barely know you." he replied. "you're Luke's girlfriend, why am I telling you this?" he whispered to himself.

"forget it." he said standing up. "I'm going to take a walk." and he left his room.

fuck.

I stand up from his bed and I was about to leave his room when I pumped into his desk.

"shit!" I said grabbing my hip in pain. something fell out off his desk when I hit it and I slowly walk over to it picking it up.

don't do it Cody.

do it Cody, you're curious.

Curiosity killed the cat.

But the satisfaction brought it back.

I shrugged and opened the journal that read 'Michael's personal thoughts'

hi,

this is what they said to me today.

I was walking home from school when I trip on a crack on the sidewalk.

'you fucking piece of shit you can't even walk without fucking up'

I told it to stop but it said back

'don't even talk, you sound stupid when you do'

I decided not to talk for the rest of the week

michael

that was 03/22/10, just a year ago.

I skip to one of the last one written, which was written just the other day.

hello there,

this is what they said to me today,

I was at a party, outside drink some beer. I was trying to get drunk to get the voices out of my head when Cody came up to me and said

"hey, don't drink so much! you're going to die from that."

'that's what she wants she wants you to die'

since then, I've been drinking much more to die.

at least i die in peace.

michael.

I gasped, covering my mouth. I need to watch what I say to him.

I skipped to 2 days ago, to see what he said when he, um, killed himself.

hello,

this might be the last time I talk to you.

two reasons. one, as I write this with one hand, my other hand is filled with multiple pills. two, there is around 2 pages left of this journal.

this is what they said to me today.

it was plain and simple, it kept going through my head all day.

'kill yourself you worthless piece of shit.'

and I should do what they say, correct?

michael

hi, this song came out when I was in a tough time, when I started cutting again, and when I tried to commit suicide. 'even tho my dizzy head is numb I swear my heart is never giving up' im never going to give up this life no matter how much I want too. 'you're the reason the only reason' michael is the only reason. why im alive. so, I hope the one that's keeping you alive, will know soon.