Mia's Untold Stories

Chapter 4: Heartbreak

Flashback: 7 months ago

Joseph decides to break up with Mia. He admits he was cheating on her with three other girls and one is pregnant. His convinced it's his child. Understandingly Mia let's him go, as he promises to return. Promises from him she already knew would be empty, from all the lies he told her.

Day in and day out, I lay here in my bed questioning everything I could've possibly done wrong.

It's though I was doing a trust challenge; hanging off the edge of a cliff believing that Joseph was holding the back of my hoodie, preventing me from crashing to my death. As I'm falling off the edge of this cliff, I turn around and notice it was nothing but a weak brunch of a tree that was caught holding me. It was inevitable that it was going to snap and I'd eventually fall and plummet to my death.

I lay in bed crying, my face burned from the tears that's permanently running down my face. It's been two weeks since he left and his texts have become cold. I no longer get my late nights calls, no more "good morning my love" texts and no more good wishes for my days.

My days are empty, with a broken heart only a widow could understand.
It was a familiar feeling, like the feeling I experienced with my grandmother's death, a gut-wrenching awful feeling. It was so traumatizing for the age at the time, I can still feel that aching sensation within my soul. But this time, it was slightly different, it wasn't just within my gut, this pain rendered further, much deeper into my chest.

I longed for his warmth, the kindness of his voice and the loving smile.
I longed for his arms to be wrapped around me each night. Instead, my bed was cold and empty. It's although death himself is standing in my room, playing with my hair.

My arms and legs, will always have this story written. In a thin carved note I've made for myself.

I receive a text. My body begins to shake uncontrollably, I'm unable to breathe. It's as though I'd had lost something way, way within my soul.

My mother walks in to find me having a fit on my bed. She carries me as she used to when I was a kid and lays me on the hammock outside to catch some fresh air.

The fit continues and I can't find my words. All I can think is that I was never good enough for him. I never deserved him in the first place, but why give me all the love and hope just to take it all away from me.

I take my phone and begin to call my sister who's on immediate speed dial.
Tracy, the same sister who I mentioned earlier, who introduced me to my first real crush, Daniel.

My mother notices me attempting to make a call and takes the phone from me, and yells that I shouldn't call Joseph or his best friend.

She see's it's Tracy's number and in a panic she asks my sister what to do, because my sister used to get anxiety attacks, but none as far as I seen was as bad as how this felt.

She goes to my room and returns, with my secret box of cigarettes and my favourite lighter.

When the call ends, she reads through my messages to see what had caused this issue in the first place.

She gasps for air as she reads the message I received from Joseph's little cousin;

Joseph is getting married next week.

She tells me to block and delete him, his cousin and his best friend. She doesn't want me to have anything to do with them, it's going to make me sick.

The words of completely losing him cause my whole body to jump. I can't even keep him as a friend. My chest becomes tight. I drop the cigarette I'm smoking that calmed me. My vision turns from a blur into a strange grey and black.

I wake up, to the stench of chemicals. That distinct hand sanitizer smell. And a numb sensation in my left arm.
Blurred vision becomes clearer and I notice I'm laying in your typical government hospital, on a drip.

My pillow is uncomfortable, but I feel dead. Surely they could've just left me to die. Nurses in and out through the night and the coughing of neighbouring patients keep me up.

It's like this book I read on the internet, Unmarked I believe it's called. It's as if I'm going through an unmating ceremony. The universe is punishing me and I'm just dead inside.

After a disgusting evening. My parents fetch me in the early morning. I had a severe panic attack and my anemia (low iron) caused the attack to be worse.

My mother found the cuts on my upper arm as I complained about the pain in my shoulder. I was told the pain is due to the fact I fell off of the hammock onto that arm.

She takes away my pills and blades. She forces me to go out and do something with my life instead of rotting in my room, for a guy that doesn't care about me and my feelings, "his soon to be a married man anyway" is what she said.

Those words hit hard. How could my Joseph, my one and only do this to me?

It's like, Have you ever had a dream, and everything else was falling perfectly into place, but you realize this dream is too cozy? Then a little bit of havoc happens. Then you afraid of what's to come next because you got too cosy the first time round and now you not sure what lurks around the corner.

So with every step you take, you hesitantly walking with extreme caution and precision as if this was some sort of booby trap. And you kinda frightened of the surprise. Like you so badly want to fall into the comfortable vibes, but you scared, yet you unintentionally start slipping again into that comfort, but you soon realize the dream is no longer as cosy as before. Like something in that entire dream has changed, but you don't know what.

Then you realize you may have took advantage of the dream, the angels and lights and cover or maybe that dream was meant for someone else.

You don't want it to be someone else's dream because you just love and adore it so much. IT'S YOUR DREAM.

So here you are in a semi-cosy dream. With a little bit of hesitance as you turn each corner, but you never wanna wake up from it. And there are people trying to shake you awake, but you clutching on it, hoping it'd keep you a little bit longer. Those dreams are the best things that has ever happened.

He was my dream.

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Author's Note.

The book mentioned above (Unmarked) link is below if anybody is interested in reading it.

https://my.w.tt/1uEl99C2n6
By rain_bows123

It's one of my favourite books on Wattpad.

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I'm grateful for all the support I have received this far.

Lots of love, peace, blessings and positive energy.

Yours truly,
W.J.Davids