Mia's Untold Stories

Chapter 5. Broken Again

It kills me some nights laying here reminiscing. I'd lay here remembering each and everything that occurred between Joseph and I, but here I am 5 months later.

After we got back together things were never the same. We were friendly, dating, but barely even friends.

Ours messages began drifting, our calls started ending earlier until they became none. No matter what the time and distance does I still love him and it's such a downfall.

Here I am thinking about all the good times we had, when most of the time I've been with him I've been laying in this exact same place crying my heart out.

He just continues to hurt me. Continuously I end up praying for the dagger in my chest to be ripped out, but what does my dumb ass do, I stick through it all. Loyalty and commitment is something I've put all my heart into, I can't just get up and leave.

He knows this and he plays it to his advantage.

When I'm missing him, I reread our conversations, like the idiot I am.

I suppose you wondering what's rendered me into this state again.

Let me take you back to exactly 11 days ago.

I decided to go with my dad for a drive to visit his colleague.
We stopped to get drinks at a shop in the area Joseph stays in. I knew he'd be at work so I didn't even bother to message him.

On my way back to the car with my dad and his colleague, I noticed the ever so amazing smile of Joseph, but he wasn't looking at me. His arm was wrapped around a cute girl wearing a pink blouse and black jeans, all his attention was focused on her.

It was of those spiritual enlightening days but she couldn't hold back her tears from the hurt and betrayal. She had fallen weak to his deceitful lies, again. She wasn't even surprised that he was up to his old tricks, but all the past memories just flooded back.

He was just standing there with her as if I couldn't see them.

Excusing myself from my dad. I head to the restroom. Heaven knows how much I hate public ablution facilities, but how could I let my dad see me in the state I was in? I needed to cut, I needed my blade, I craved for the internal pain to be relieved in some sort of way.

If he wanted to end things with me, he could've just done it.

My dad hadn't noticed him, nor did he notice our presence.

I couldn't keep my tears back, but I should've seen it coming. He was never loyal to me, why would he start now?

I pulled myself together as best I could. My dad still has his connections, if he knew how his "little girl" was crying he'd surely have Joseph eliminated and that's something I couldn't bare to think of.

I tried to forget about it and pretend I wasn't there, but I just couldn't.

I decided to approach the situation head on. I messaged Joseph that evening, but he instead tried to make me seem crazy.

He blamed me for not telling him I was in his neighbourhood. He made me feel crazy, like it's my fault.

Our phone call ended with him saying he has to go do something for his mom.

I texted him soon after trying to end things, but it was no use.

"I'm out for real. Bye Joe.
This time please don't come back."

I sent it with a heavy heart and I knew I was breaking myself, but I know I'm better off without him.

I removed my profile picture and status, then cut off my data.