A Chance For Him

Chapter 5: Opening up

(Hey, everyone! *Pauses for a moment to realize I'm all alone and talking to air* Well, *sob* to all of my invisible friends out there. I'd just like to tell you guys I'm trying something new. This chapter will be from Keith's perspective. If you like this chapter or have any other perspectives you'd like to see please comment.)

My entire life has a series of betrayals and disappointments. I never knew my mother and my father died when I was young. To obsessed with finding my mother, who must have been alive, to raise me properly.

The closest I ever got to trusting anyone was Shiro, but then, he found Adam. My heart was broken all over again, because I thought it would always be Shiro and I, against the world. We were brothers, family, maybe, something more. At least I thought we were until he announced his relationship with Adam.

We both ended up in the same foster homes, again and again. We licked each other's wounds. Adam's family was the first that ever kept us. I guess I should have known when Shiro started looking at Adam like that, but I didn't want to. I couldn't shut it out anymore once they declared themselves.

A part of me, the horrible, greedy part. I wanted Adam's parents to kick us out for that. To call us horrible faggots that corrupt their innocent son, but I already knew that wouldn't happen. I never hid my sexuality from the start, they never treated me differently for it. So instead, I started treating myself like shit. Because I felt like shit. But if someone, anyone was going to want a piece of shit like me, it was other pieces of shit.

That's how I entered a really bad spot in my life. Smoking, alcohol, drugs, anything I could get my hands on. Anything I could blame in my stead. I dated the sleaziest people because I wouldn't want them to love me. I got into fight after fight. All while Shiro was cleaning up his act in order to be a good man for Adam. It wasn't until Shiro almost died trying to protect me from a jerk who was involved in some really bad shit, that I realized this needed to stop.

I started chewing gum and going to alcoholics anonymous. I started studying to go the fancy pilot school Shiro and Adam went to. I dated a guy I knew had a clean record, but it turned out he was a manipulative asshole who thought I'd be a nice trophy. I didn't stick around long enough to find out how well that went for him.

Soon after, Shiro got lost in space. I was kicked out of the Garrison, my ex, and his ass friends laughing all the way. I lost everything I had, again. This time, though, I wouldn't give it up laying down. I started looking for Shiro. I found the lion. Shiro came back. I collided with Pidge and Hunk and Lance.

He was so bright and charismatic. So strong and determined. Everything I wanted to be. I had always been aware of him in the Garrison, not that anyone would have known. I had gotten early admission due to my connections with Adam and Shiro, coupled with my apparent talent in piloting. So, I already had built a negative reputation for myself, despite my efforts to do better.

I refused to drag him down with me. So that day, when the new students arrived at the Garrison, and I met those ocean blue eyes, filled with the depths of the universe, I walked by as if no one was there. I hated myself for leaving him that day, but it was better for him to not be dragged down by my broken heart.

I always watched him from then on. Always out of the corner of my eye. Beating up people who insulted him behind his back, and acting as if it was normal. Feeling as if I would die every time I saw him flirt with a girl. Even more so when I saw him flirt with a guy, though that was rarer.

The day I saw him while saving Shiro I felt like I might be getting something back. Then, when we did that bonding activity after we had gotten all the lions back. After I saw the way he looked at me. After he kept looking at me that way. After I overheard him telling Hunk and Pidge he thought I was strong, and, even if that part was a joke, that he wanted me. I started to feel something bloom that I had never felt before.

I won't say I wasn't scared, but I knew somewhere in me that I could trust Lance to love me. No matter how long it took me to open up.