The Mistress of the Fire Lord

Chapter 14 - It's Over

When I woke up, I was alone again, and once again I was hit by reality. He'd always leave. And, if I were to continue with him, I'd have to deal with that. 

Even after reconciliation, things didn't feel the same for me anymore. I wasn't that dazzled girl anymore - I was a woman who knew she wasn't the first option, no matter what he said. But I actually lost my shit around one month after the incident with his wife.

He was being visited by some high figure from the Earth Kingdom, and I was entertaining them with some songs, while they talked about diplomatic stuff. The problem is that they moved to personal issues, and I heard the man say:

-- Oh, and congratulations for your wife's pregnancy.

I stopped singing immediately and gasped, making me cough. Both looked at me, one with concern and the other with despair.

-- Are you okay? 

-- Yes, I just… My throat is dry, I just need some water. 

I had the water, swallowed my feelings and resumed singing and being a good hostess for both of them for the rest of the visit. After he left, Zuko came straight to me:

-- I can explain… 

-- How long? 

-- What? 

-- For how long did you know? -- I was standing there, looking straight at him.

-- About two weeks, but it hasn't been confirmed yet. -- his eyes were down. 

We shouldn't be talking about this there, but this time I was pissed and didn't want to be with him on my room, where I had the possibility of giving in, so I pressed:

-- And for how long did you expect to hide it from me?

-- I… 

-- "I just cherish her as a friend, I don't love her." I see. 

-- Karima… It happened… 

-- I sincerely don't want to know. I am done. -- I was doing a great job of holding back the tears and keeping a straight face.

-- You are what? -- he seemed incredulous. He actually looked like the floor was swallowing him. I could feel sorry for him, but I was angrier than I thought I would be.

-- I am leaving. For the water tribe. You can tell the people in the Palace I have had a family emergency, or some other excuse. Nerui, the one with the other flower pot, would be a great replacement, he can be trained by your wife's hostess. But I'm leaving tonight.

-- No! You can't leave me! -- he stormed -- I love you!

-- You might, it's true. But it's not enough.

-- I order you to stay!

-- Then I'll have to. But would you really like to have me by your side, unhappy and miserable, because of a whim? Is this what you call love?

-- And do you call leaving me love?

-- I do love you. But it's not enough. And I think I love myself more. Or at least I'm trying to. My Lord, I repeat to you - would you really like me to stay even knowing I would be unhappy, seeing your family grow? Would you really force me to do so? 

-- No -- he seemed defeated, but raised his head to meet my gaze. -- But you are always welcome back here.

-- Thank you, my Lord -- I bowed low -- and good bye. I'll carry you kindly in my thoughts.

I turned my back and left the room, and then I heard a loud noise after I closed the door. I kept on walking.