The Mistress of the Fire Lord

Chapter 25 - The End

After the funeral, I was packing up when Zuko came again to my quarters, for the first time since that day.

-- Can we talk? -- he asked by the door.

-- Sure -- I answered naturally. Seeing him still made my heart beat faster, but it was now easier to control myself around him.

-- When are you coming back?

-- In a few months. I just have to find people to replace me back at home, and probably finish my apprenticeship, then I'll be back to be your daughter's governess. I think she'll need some tutors as well, but I think everything is going to work out well.

-- And how about us?

-- My love… -- I wanted to complete with "there's no us anymore", but I couldn't. I still wanted him, and I said the only thing I managed to -- Her funeral just happened. Take your time for mourning. In her memory's sake, at least. Then we find out. That's the most I can offer to you right now.

-- And I will take it. -- he held my hand and kissed it. I dropped my head on his shoulder and he embraced me. We allowed ourselves to stay like this for a while, just enjoying each other's company, feeling whatever crazy stuff we were feeling at the moment.

Then, we kissed. It was a calm and sweet kiss. We were in no rush this time, we had all the time of the world.

I took the next ship to the Water Village. I had to go back to prepare all my stuff and to make clear that I would move indefinitely for the Fire Nation. I would not dishonor a promise made by a desperate mother in her deathbed. 

Things were solved quickly in the Water Village. Everyone was sad to hear about the Fire Lord's wife passing, and comprehended well they promise I've made.

-- You've been a good teacher for the kids here. I know you'll be a great governess. -- Kira said while we bade farewell. 

I took a last look at the village I have grown up at and then turned away, back to the ship that would take me to yet another phase of my life.

***

I arrived at the Palace and was immediately allocated at my new quarters, at the Imperial Wing, close to Izumi's room. Then, I would have dinner with the Fire Lord. I was anxious to see Zuko again, and spent half an hour just choosing the outfit. I didn't want to feel like that, but I have come to terms that I loved him, and decided I would let him know that.

Nerui was there, playing a Koto, when I arrived. When the door opened, Zuko looked straight at me with a smile. He was as gorgeous as I remembered him. He signaled me to sit on the cushions beside him him, and that's what I did.

-- How have you been coping? -- I asked as soon as I sat down, not caring about the protocol since it was just me, him and Nerui in that room.

-- I lost my best friend. It's not a good feeling. And I feel guilty for what I have done to her. Still, I regret nothing. Do you? -- he turned to me, with a serious look.

-- I have been dealing with the guilt since the very beginning , and it just grew worse on her last days. May she find peace. She deserved that.

-- But do you regret anything? -- he pressed.

-- Sometimes I feel regret. But I wouldn't change anything. The guilt hurts, but I wouldn't trade what we've had for anything. These are the best memories I have.

-- We've had? Does it mean it's over?

-- Do you want it to be over?

-- Do you? -- he asked back.

-- I want you. From the bottom of my heart, I want you. But I don't think the things will ever be the same. You have a daughter now, and she's going to be my pupil. My quarters are going to be beside hers, you couldn't do your nightly excursions, then. And I am not sure I want that, either.

-- I don't want things to be the same. I don't want to make nightly excursions anymore -- well, now he was going to leave me. I kind of deserved it. -- And I also don't want you to be my daughter's governess.

-- Do you… Want me to leave? To break the promise I've made?

-- No… I want you to be her stepmother. -- I froze and looked at Nerui. He had a knowing smile. Both might have planned this. -- Karima from the Water Tribe -- he produced a little box with a ring from underneath his vests --, do you want to be my wife?

I couldn't hold my tears. It was the thing I wanted most.

I held him in a tight hug.

-- I do. More than anything, I do.

Then, we kissed. A kissed free of guilt and judgment and fear. A kiss filled with love, and love only.