God Complex

Chapter Twelve

Julian yawned, stretching his arms.

He recoiled looking at the sleeping form not quite hidden by the thick, white quilt.

He swallowed back the onset of vomit, leaving a burning sensation in his throat and a rotten flavor in his mouth.

He rolled out of the bed, trying to stay quiet. He was not in the mood for another round and he definitely was not in the mood to be fake happy to see the Queen.

He scooped up his clothes from the floor and shoved them to the bottom of his bag. Three days in one outfit was disgusting, even for his tastes.

The floor creaked under his weight and he froze when he heard the Queen rustle in the bed.

Please don't wake up, Julian thought, his palms growing sweaty.

Luckily, she continued to sleep, so Julian would be free to take a shower.

He had showered whenever he got the opportunity. Julian found himself showering several times a day, somehow unable to get himself clean enough, for his own tastes.

The hot water stung the lash marks on his back and Julian could hardly stop himself from crying out.

His inner thighs were coated in blisters that he took care not to pop.

She loved her torch, but she loved her blades even more.

His upper arms covered in lacerations could attest to that.

The Queen was a sadist. And he was her pawn.

As he worked the soap into his washcloth, he thought of Lili.

His eyes burned in response. Julian hated the Queen, but he hated himself more. He didn't save her and Chrissilande got her. He deserved all the pain he got.

He didn't know how many days had passed since their time on the moors of Faerieland, but he knew that every minute he spent with the Seelie Queen, was another minute Lili was going through, quite possibly, hell with Chrissilande.

Julian's skin burned from the angst-ridden scrubbing he had been doing for several minutes.

His skin was raw and flushed pink, but he could still feel the grime that clung to his skin.

It was as if he couldn't shake the feeling of being perpetually filthy and Julian could not understand why.

He sighed and cut the water.

The Queen would be awake any moment and she did not like to be kept waiting.

Julian dressed in a fresh outfit, but even that did not help him feel better.

The fabric stung his back, but he ignored the flare up of pain as he hobbled himself over to the sink and repeated his new ritual of scrubbing his teeth until his gums bled. Then, he moved the brush to his tongue.

Julian felt a cloud of dreaminess fill his mind and he would've groaned, if he were able.

He rinsed the sink quickly and threw his toothbrush on top the counter.

He opened the bathroom door, smiling brightly at the Queen wrapped in the silk sheets from the bed.

He dropped to his knee and kissed each of her toes, tenderly.

"Good morning, Your Majesty."

She giggled, somewhat breathily,"A good morning indeed, pet."

Julian's face stretched into a smile, for the Queen was absolutely radiant.