pained. (Jason McCann)

pressure

"There's a change in pressure
We're never gonna lie to you.
(Change in pressure)
My broken veins say that if my heart stops beating
(Change in pressure)
"We'll bleed the same way"
(Change in pressure)
Oh, my broken veins say."

---

Saturday 12:43am

Jackie's POV

I press it against my skin and slid it across slowly. Blood began to slip out of my wrist.

I looked at my self in the mirror.

I was a wreck.

My hair was messy.

My make up was smeared.

My scars were noticeable.

I sighed loudly and walked towards the shower and turn on the water.

I stripped out of my wet clothes and walked in the shower.

I moaned as the hot water hit my skin.

I felt my wrist bleeding.

The hot water hit my wrist causing me to wince.

Saturday 10:33am

"Good Morning, Jackie." My foster mom said.

"Good morning" I replied bluntly.

"Mom I'm going to hang out with some friends later." James explained.

"Bring Jackie with you." She said to him.

"No." We said in unison.

"I'm not going with him." I spat.

I went to my room and laid down on my bed.

I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

I'm tired of being so tired.

I'm tired so sleeping. I'm tired of living.

I'm tired of myself.

I pulled my phone and my earphones from under my pillow.

I plugged my earphones to my phone and put them on.

"I didn't even see you when I liked
you
Now I ain't got no time
Girl I wanna see you undo it
I wanna see you but you're not mine."

I pulled my blankets over my self and closed my eyes.

What am I supposed to do with my life?

I hate myself.

I caused all this shit.

My family died because of me.

-Flashback-

"Mom can you pick me up now?" I asked through the phone.

"Sure of course I have to bring Kyle, Dad, and Katie with me okay." She said.

"Okay bye" I said.

"We'll be there in five minutes bye" She ended the call there.

Twenty Minutes Later

Its been twenty minutes and they're not here yet.

She said it would take five minutes.

My phone began to ring.

I answered it quickly.

"Hello. Is this Jackie Brooks?". Man's voice asked through the phone.

"Yes"

"Your family is currently in the hospital due to a car accident" He said.

"What?! I'm going there right now!"

I hung up and began to run.

I knew which hospital they were in so I ran towards the direction the hospital.

it wasn't to far.

A couple minutes later I was there.

I was too late.

"Are you Jackie?"

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry but your family was horribly injured in many body parts." She said.

"Are they okay? Can I see them please?"

"Im so so-"

"No! I want to see them!" I yelled.

"We tried everything." She sighed.

"Are they.....please don't tell me" I begged.

"I'm sorry" She said and hugged me.

I broke in tears. I can't believe it. Its all my fault.

-End of Flashback-

Jason's POV

"I'm done man." Alex said while walking in the living room.

"Is he dead?"

"Yeah." He smirked.

"good." I smiled.

//

I have the same dream all the time.

That's why I don't sleep. Fuck it theyre not dreams. They're nightmares.