In Love With A Cereal Killer [Book 1] (On Hold)

~Chapter 41 I Can't Take It Anymore Or Can I?

(WARNING, Mentions Of Rape And Attempt Of Suicide)

Marcel POV

I was so furious and angry, I just wanted to throw something. Even with all these emotions, sadness and heartbreak was the strongest. I was alone, I'm all by myself......again.

I should've listened to all their warnings about love, that love hurts so much. It felt like someone shot me square in the heart, it was more of a speeding bullet than an heart shaped arrow if you know what I mean.

I chuckled at that but instantly stopped and frowned. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE" I yelled out of anger. That's how it all happened, I was so numb. I didn't know what was I doing, I was out of control. I was so blind, from the front door to my car. I was driving off somewhere, blindly acting on my own.

I had parked my car in front of a pawn shop, walking inside casual. I haven't been going to school and everyone was worried. To tell you the truth, I didn't even care about school. It's all just a waste of time and effort. I have been silent for almost two months and school is now over.

My phone was blown up with worried text messages, frantic calls, and desperate voice mails. Yet, I ignored them all.....if only they knew what I'm about to do. "Can I have a pistol with ammunition inside.." I paused, going into my pocket. "I'll pay in cash" I said a bit desperate. He sighed, narrowing his eyes at me. "That would be 140.00" he replied and I sigh taking the money out of my pocket and paying him.

It was a lot but I didn't care at the moment, "thanks" I muttered as he slided a pistol to me. I stuffed the pistol in my pocket, leaving the pawn shop. I hopped in my car and drove to a place that was nice and silent. I got out of my car and sat on a bench near by.

I pulled out the pistol, making sure it had ammo in it. I stared at it for a long time, listening to the silence around me. I had made my decision, I didn't want to live anymore. I raised the pistol up to my head, I'm sorry. I'm sorry but I just don't want to suffer any longer.

I place my finger on the trigger, I closed my eyes. Waiting for the inevitable, streams of tears roll down my cheeks. My hands began to shake and my heart was aching even more then before. "It's okay, I don't have to worry...it's all going to be over soon.." I reassured myself, smiling weakly.

My grip on the gun tighten, echoes of all my friends yelling for me not to do it. They kept echoing in my head with an endless loop. Until, I heard my sister's voice, my eyes widened.

Her voice was telling me that it was not going to make anything better but make things worse. "Don't do this to me" I whispered in a broke down voice. My sister, she is....not alive, she died along time ago. She also had committed suicide, she....she hung herself.

The worst part is that, I was the one who discovered the body. I remember just staring at her lifeless body, swinging back and forth from the ceiling of her room. I was in shock, I couldn't do anything.

My body was as frozen as a statue, I couldn't move or even try to call out for my family. My voice was gone just like she was now. She was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was only broken away from my trance when my family came in the room, wondering why I haven't come down or said a word yet. My brother held me, trying to calm me down as I was now having a panic attack.

My father cut her down as I was sobbing in my brother's arms. I was wailing but my brother never let go of me. He whispered calm and gentle words, trying to distract my mind but I will never forget that day.

I was traumatized ever since, now here I am....pointing a gun to my head. I was ready to pull the trigger when I heard screaming. I jumped to my feet, "SOMEONE, HELP ME, I'M BEING RAPED-" I heard someone scream but hear it get muffled after words. I don't know what got into me, I shoved the pistol into my jacket pocket.