You don't know

CHAPTER 10

I open my eyes to bird chirping sound. The sun rise look so beautiful from up here. I can't believe we sleep on his truck all night. Jayden is spooning me behind my back.

' Jay' I call his name few times softly trying to wake him up.

' yeah' He put his head on my shoulder and actually talk to my ear. So early morning for this much tension.

' Jay, Let's go back.' I touch his arm that lay on my stomach lightly.

' 5 more minutes'  He shift his arm up so close to my boob to pull my back to his chest.

' Don't get too comfortable Jayden, you realize that is my boob you shift you hand up to, asshole' I groan at him.

He chuckle softly again my ear, I can feel his chest up and down on my back. He then kiss my head and get up. I get up after him. He jump down the ground and turn to look at me with his lazy smile. I look at him, how can someone look so cute and hot the same time.

' Come on' he open his arm signal for me to jump. I smile and jump to him. He hold me tight and chuckle before he's putting me down on the ground.

' Thank you for dinner and sleep over ' I smile at him and walk to get in the passenger seat.

After he close the truck cover and tidy up, he settle in driver seat and drive off. The car ride home full of us singing like duck party following our radio. We don't talk much beside side joke and occasional glare. After a pretty long drive, we arrive at his house.

' So, I think I will go through my balcony door ' I clear my throat and look at my feet.  I feel a bit embarrassed, but no offend. What if I walk through the door and meet Benz in the house. It's pretty awkward.

' Come in Lily ' he grab my hand and pull me with him. He then stop at the kitchen and smile at me. ' Let's eat breakfast '

I just nob. I stare at him while he prepares toast and egg. ' Can I help you or something? '. I walk toward him.

' No babe, we don't want a new kitchen yet. ' He glance up at me and chuckle to himself. Someone feel good this morning.

' what?  That's rude coming from someone whom never saw me in kitchen before ' I pout.

' Oh there, I heard enough ' He then chuckle more.

' where you heard that from ? ' I look at him with narrow eyes.

' oh that's secret buddy. Let's eat breakfast is done. ' he plate breakfast nicely for both of us. So I start digging in.

' Wow, it's good. I love mayonate on my toast ' I'm sure my eyes gleam up like a million stars.

' Glad you like it ' he smile and use tissue to wipe the corner of my mouth for me. After that we're kind of eat in comfortable silent while playing our phone away. 

' Thank for your hospitality Mr J' I smile at him.

' You're welcome Mrs. J' he said with a wink. 

' What? ' I glare at him playfully. This guy is even weirder than myself. And he just chuckle again.

We then start walking up to his room. When he open the bedroom door, I start to feel anxious. What is I meet Benz in my room. This is suck. I lost in my thought, when Jayden clear his throat.

' You can stay a bit longer if you want '  he said looking at the balcony door.

' Nah, it's fine. See you around bud' I wave him good bye and start climbing  to my balcony. When I stand on my side, I look back to see Jayden is looking at me with his blank expression before he wave me bye and close his balcony.

I peak my head through my balcony, Happy that I don't see Benz in my room. I go in quickly and lock my balcony door behind. I took shower and put on my oversize T-shirt with my satin shorts. I don't have plan to go out. I'm planing on searching internet and watch some Netflix later.

By lunch time,  I heard a knock on my door.

' Benz? ' I shout.

' yeah ' he replied.

I open the door for him. He walk inside slowly and look at me carefully.
He then clear his throat.  ' Lunch is done Ly.'

I walk toward him and hug him tight. He froze before he hug me back. I smile in his embrace. My Benz is always warm.

' I miss you.' I said to his chest.

' I miss you too. ' he stroke my hair slowly.

' I hate that I'm not the only one who get to hug you when you're near by, kiss you when you drunk, cuddle to sleep with a smile before. But I will get over that so we can be friend. ' I said still hold him tight to my heart for the last time.

' Ly ' he sound puzzle. He sure not know what to say or react.

' No you don't have to say anything. I understand that you find someone you feel attracted to both emotionally and physically. I understand that you love her. I saw how you look at her. Who am I to judge when I clearly cross the line by myself. ' I said sobing to his shirt now. I know I should let's go of him by now but my heart only yern for him go be close even for last time. He just patting my back silently.

' I'm sorry Ly, but can we be friends like before?  ' he said silently when we let go of each others.

' of course ' I said while looking at my feet.

Then the room fill with silent and his sigh. I stay root to my place. Neither any of us say anything.

' I'm not hungry by the way ' I stare at him briefly before stare back at my feet.

' You have to eat Ly, I haven't see you eat anything since yesterday. ' He stare at me with worrisome.

' okay, I will be down stairs in a bit. ' he stare at him as I speak.

' I will wait for you. ' He glance back before leaving my room. I just nob. He then peak his head in for a moment ' There's only us at the table ' and smile at me. To be honest,nothing feel good anymore. I feel like a bad bitch.

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