The Mafia and Its Angel (Under Editing)

(41) I Almost Lose It......Almost

Five more chapters guys! Cant wait for you all to read the last 5!! Anywhooooo......

Love you lots!

Kasia🥰

*Nightmare*

"Stop! Please!"

I beg the evil man who is holding a blade to Tyler's throat and to his psychotic partner holding an identical one to Jackson's. I can barley see through my tears and I can't get to them because it seems like every time I run harder and faster they get further away from my grasp.

"MAMA!"

My babies terrifyingly scream for me but I can't get to them. No matter how hard I try. Seeing your children so terrified and not being able to make it go away is the absolute worst feeling in the world to a mother. The men laugh sinisterly before slicing the blades across Tyler and Jackson's necks.

I scream bloody murder as I try even harder to get to them if that's even possible. The men laugh before telling me my worst fear.

"It's all your fault. They're dead because of you."

I scream and cry as I collapse on the floor and wallow in my self hatred. My poor babies. My poor poor babies. I did this to them. It's all my fault.

*Nightmare over*

I wake up with tears flowing down my cheeks and only one thing on my mind. I killed them. I sit up and walk over to the bathroom and look for anything sharp. I find one of Joshua's knives that he keeps for "safety" and hold it tightly in my hand. I sit down leaning against the bathtub and feel the tears dripping down my cheeks onto my wrists in my lap.

I place the knife on my right wrist in a vertical position and make a deep cut before doing the same on the left side. I don't even wince in pain or discomfort. I don't feel anything as the blood pours out of my veins onto the white limestone tiles of the bathroom floor.

My body sags till I'm laying on the floor in a pool of my own blood. I feel so light and painless. Maybe I should have done this a while ago, would have solved a lot of problems. I get a little light headed as if I'm floating and I know the end is close. I welcome it with open arms.

I'll do anything to protect those I love. But also since my babies were taken I've been hating myself to the point where I can't live with myself anymore. I start to feel cold and I smile. At least now nobody will have to hurt the ones I love to get to me. I'll already be gone.

Josh's POV

I can't believe I left like that. I was just so mad and hurt that anyone would touch my darling babies. All to get to me. I couldn't stand the thought of Amelia getting hurt because of me. Also my twisted brain thought if I left and put myself in plain sight hat the people who took the twins will do a trade, me for them. So I left.

But what a stupid thing to think that if I just leave then the trouble will just follow me and leave my family alone. Trouble will never leave my family alone but it is my job to protect them from it as much as I can and I've failed this past week. I've left Amelia to grieve and be alone and God only knows how much she needs me and I'm not there.

My phone starts ringing as soon as I pull up to the estate gates and I answer it with a sigh.

"I know I haven't been here but I'm here now, literally driving up the driveway. So give me shit after I get inside."

I rush out my words before she can say anything to at least lighten the blow. But what I get in return shakes my world and makes it crumble more than it already has.