I went to the comfort room to cry my heart out. I AM SUCH AN IDIOT. How can I hurt people? I am an ass. I know that and it gripped my inmost being.
My tears clouded my vision making me want to howl my sadness and brokenness away. I bit my hand to prevent me from sobbing louder than I already am.
I want the pain to go away. I need to explain. I need to talk to Arya. How will I do it? I will write on our journal.
----
Dearest A,I am sorry. I know an apology will not be enough. A million sorry will not suffice to blot out what I did to you. I am sorry if I betrayed your trust. I am sorry if I was not able to tell you that I am in a relationship. But please I beg you with all of me, believe when I tell you that you are the most special person in my life right now. I know I am unfair and selfish. Please forgive me.
My heart is breaking a million pieces because I know I broke yours. I do not want to live this life without you in it. Before you even came to my life I already wanted out of my relationship but her sickness is stopping me. She has a severe heart disease. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Please be my friend. Stay. Please.
Yours,
ZP.S. Let's talk.
-----
I cried right after writing. I know that I do not deserve her forgiveness or her friendship.I looked for her all over the campus. I'd say she was hard to find. I hurt Arya and it makes me want to cry out loud for my stupidity. I am so sorry but I do not know how to say it to her.
I finally found her in the library. She was on the same spot when I first saw her crying. She was covering her face as she sat on the floor with her knees propped. I know she is crying. I sat beside her and she looked my way, noticing my presence. I handed her the notebook and said nothing. I also gave her my handkerchief. I know she needed it.
She read my entry and tears kept streaming down her face. I need her to believe me. She needs to know how special she is to me.
Arya. I know I betrayed your trust but please give me a chance. Let me make it up to you. I will break up with Jen. I need to let her go. Please stay. Give me time.
She nodded. I wiped her face and hugged her. She cried some more while I kept hugging her.
You hurt me. Why does it hurt so bad?
I have no answer to that and I stayed silent. There were no words to make her feel better. I was still hugging her. I looked at her and said...
I am a selfish person. I know that but I am asking you to give me a chance to show you that I really do love you. Give me time please.
Okay. But please hurry. I will wait. She sniffed and let go of our hug. She pushed me a little and gave me a smile.
I am a major idiot. I have two people in my life who loves me unconditionally but I seem to only hurt them. I should just suffer.
How the hell can I tell Jen that I want to break up with her?
Do I have the heart to hurt one more person? A person who has a heart disease no less. Damn. You may now officially put label on me -- IDIOTIC.
YOU ARE READING
Beyond Horizons
RomanceThis a story of two souls meeting in the most expected times of their lives. They fit together so perfectly and their connection was different from all the other relationships they had been in. However, one of them is in a relationship she cannot se...