Wandering Heart | YoonJinKook ✔️

10. Lies

Seokjin's Pov:

I sat up in our bed after Jungkook had left in tears, feeling confused. He seemed genuinely offended by my question; I almost felt crazy. I mean, was I insane? I couldn't have possibly, be wrong, could I?

All the signs were there, him coming home late, or not coming home at all, the different scent, the loss of affection towards me. I witnessed it all, but now I felt like my mind was making stuff up, and I didn't know what to do.

It had been over three hours since he had stormed out of the house and hadn't returned, I was worried. I called him several times, but the phone only went straight to voicemail. He told me he had good news earlier, and I never even listened to him, I went right into causing a fight between us, but I was so angry about him leaving me on a day he knew was important to me. He knew how much I struggled after my father's death, he knew.

The door to our room door opens, and Jungkook walks in. He threw his jacket on the sofa in our room and walked over to our bed.

"I am sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have left like that."

"W-why did you leave like that?" I wanted the truth from him; I needed confirmation that I wasn't crazy.

"I felt attacked, Seokjin." he sat down on the bed and looked over at me, his expression blank.

"Attacked?" What did that mean, I didn't attack him, I only asked him a question, a question, I now wanted to know the answer to.

"I know I wasn't there for you yesterday, and I am sorry about that. I understand you were upset, but I didn't expect you would accuse me of cheating too."

I looked at him in disbelief, "Are you tell me you are not cheating on me, or haven't been cheating on me?"

Jungkook got up from the bed and walked around to where I was, resting his hands on my knees and sitting next to me, "Seokjin, what kind of husband do you take me for? I would never cheat on you, and I have never cheated on you. Yes, I will admit, I did meet someone else, two years ago, it was after your father died, the miscarriage, and we talked for a while, but only over the phone, which didn't last for even a month. I ended things when you started coming back around, I never slept with them, we had lunch together once, and that's all the interaction we ever had.

I immediately felt guilty for even doing that and cut them off as soon as I could. I guess I was stressed out, and you were depressed and distant from me, so I encouraged something I shouldn't have, and I am sorry."

I kept my eyes closed as he spoke after my father died, we suffered a lot in our marriage, I knew it, it's part of the reason why I allowed a lot of things to slide, I knew my faults, and where I went wrong.

"Are you seriously telling me that's all it was, you never had sex with someone besides me since we have been married?"

"Jin, look me in my eyes," Jungkook lift my head, so I was looking at him. "I never, and I mean ever had sex with someone else since we have been married. I love you way too much to betray our vows like that. I told you, you and Jae mean the world to me."

My head was spinning, I heard what he was saying, but had I been crazy this entire time? "B-but, it doesn't make sense, you not coming home, us not having sex, I mean everything Jungkook for the past three years don't make sense to me."

"I know, baby, I know, but if you think about, three years ago your dad died, we lost a baby, which you avoid and won't allow us to talk about. You fell into depression, I carried our family, you didn't want to sleep with me either, and I never once thought you were neglecting me because you were cheating. Even when I was hurting, I never pointed fingers towards you; I allowed you the time and space to grieve. I know, I haven't been home as much as I should be in the last two years because of work, and the expansion, I told you this time and time again.

I have been so overworked that sex is the last thing on my mind, and I am sorry, I guess I have been selfish, not thinking about your needs, but focusing on myself. I promise you starting from today; I will work on these things. I am done with the expansion, for now, I don't have any reason to travel anymore, only quarterly, if needed, but besides that, I will be home so we can work on our marriage. I can work on making sure you never assume anything like this again.

I feel awful knowing you have been thinking this though, is this the reason for your sudden weight loss, have you been worrying that I have been cheating? Why didn't you talk to me sooner Seokjin, why did you hold this in?" he asked, stroking my cheek and looking into my eyes.

I couldn't respond; all I could do was cry, cry for assuming, and creating stupid thoughts in my head. He was working hard for our family, and here I was making things up in my mind. He was right; I avoided the fact that we loss our daughter, and I did that because even until now, I can't accept it.

My father dying I was able to accept, there were warnings before his passing, but not my child, that's something I couldn't deal with emotionally or mentally.