Wandering Heart | YoonJinKook ✔️

27. Confused

Seokjin's Pov:

"Jin, can you stop, you will slice your finger doing that," Jimin said, resting his hands on mine, as he stopped me from chopping the carrots.

I stopped looking out the window and turned to face him, "Why did he do this? He did this intentionally, didn't he?"

Jungkook had officially moved in next door, and almost every day I had to see him, he even had the nerve to choose the bedroom that was closest to my bedroom. He was trying to ruin my life all over again.

"He didn't know you were going to move here, hell; I didn't know that either. I mean, you are divorced, he is not trying to come over here, not like Yoongi who keeps calling down your phone, and showing up to your house without your permission. I don't even see you losing yourself with him like that, so why are you bothering yourself about Jungkook living next door?"

I dropped the knife into the kitchen sink and pushed away the cutting board with the vegetables; I was trying to prepare for dinner. "I don't think you get it. I have spoken to Yoongi. I told him not to visit here anymore, and he listened. He only asks that I take his calls and I have been talking to him-"

"Let me get this straight you can have solid communication with someone who not only put his hands on you but spoke down about your kids, even harasses you and have no respect for personal space. But your kid's father you can't talk to without fighting with him? I am not sure I understand you, Seokjin." I wouldn't say I liked the way Jimin was looking at me; I felt as if he was judging me based on the decisions I had been making. This is why I prefer not to allow people into the depths of my personal life.

Walking to my small wine cabinet, I pulled out a bottle of wine and poured myself some, offering to Jimin, who shook his head. Making me realize I was a forgetful friend. "Let's go into the dining room." I motioned to him, not wanting to stay in the kitchen and talk.

Once in the dining room, we both took a seat across from one another, I took a long sip of my wine and leaned my head back against the chair. "I know it's easy to judge me and think of what I am doing as wrong, but you don't understand my logic either, or how these things affect me. You might think it's wrong for me to be able to talk to Yoongi, but Yoongi didn't hurt me the way Jungkook did. Jungkook tore our family apart. Yoongi would have never been in the picture had Jungkook not done what he did, we would have still been together, and our kids wouldn't be living the life they are living right now.

Yes, we have been divorced for a while now, but it doesn't heal anything, it only adds to the pain I already had. I didn't want a divorce, but he gave me no option, I am angry with him, and no one gets it. You think I should be all friendly and wave at him in the morning, but I can't do that. Him moving next door also turned my home upside down, now the kid's thing they can see their dad whenever they want to, it does not work like that! The court made a decision, and we should follow it.

Every night Jae whines now about why can't he go to Jungkook's house, do you think he would be doing that if his father hadn't moved next door? It's just so frustrating, and who knows who he is dating or with now, I mean I haven't seen anyone over there, but what will happen when they start coming around.

At least I was in a stable relationship, he will probably start having our kids see him with different men, and that's not the life I want my kids exposed to."

I turned the glass of wine to my head as I saw Jimin looking like me as if I was crazy. I knew he wouldn't get my worries and frustration; this is why I didn't want to say anything.

"Jin, you know I love you, right?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head; he was going to say I was the problem, I know it.

"Honestly, from my perspective, both you and Jungkook destroyed your marriage. I am not an expert at this, so I don't want to give you the wrong advice, but I think either you need to find the time and talk to him or a therapist, you are bitter with him still, and I can't help you with that. You guys rushed into getting a divorce as opposed to trying to seek help, and I think that was wrong. You dived into a relationship with someone you were cheating on your husband with, I don't believe you gave it any thought, and I don't think it's fair for you to blame that on Jungkook. After the divorce, that's a personal decision you made.

I get it, things will be more difficult with the kids now that he is next door, but if it bothers you this much, practice communication with him rather than what you are doing with Yoongi. The last time I told you to focus on yourself, but you are not doing that. You are doing everything else, but that and you are putting the blame on Jungkook, and it's not right.

I think one of the reasons you are feeling like this towards him too is because you didn't get any closure. Maybe you need that, I don't know how you get that, but I think what would benefit the kids is not whether he is jumping from relationship to relationship, but more so, if their parents can get along.

You are bitter, and I am sure the kids will begin to feed off your energy at some point. What Jae is asking for is typical. I am sure any kid his age would ask to see their dad if they saw him next door. Seriously I think you need to start working on yourself and decide what it is you want, and maybe one of the things you need to be honest with, is if you want Jungkook back, perhaps a part of your anger is because you are not over him, and that's okay.

It's not like he was a fling, he was your husband, someone whom you shared many first with, so I get it. No one is going to judge you if that's what you want."

I didn't know how to respond to Jimin, because I didn't know if it was okay to still be in love with someone who had done so much to me. Was it even normal.  

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Errors will be corrected later.