Wandering Heart | YoonJinKook ✔️

24. True Colors

Seokjin's Pov:

I couldn't believe he had slapped me. Yes, he had pushed me around, grabbed me, and bruised my arm several times, but now he had actually hit me. I got up from the floor and looked at him in disgust; he was threatening and forcing me to choose. He was not the Yoongi I fell for; he is not the Yoongi I had met; this was not it.

If I keep allowing him to do this to me, I was going to be right back where I was with Jungkook. Being silent before kept be buried in pain, and I can't allow that to be the case for me again, no matter how much I care about him.

"We are over." I pulled the ring off my finger and threw it at him.

He caught the ring and looked at me in shock. "What the fuck? What do you mean you we are done."

"Exactly that, you hate my kids, you have now turned to hitting me, and you want to control my life, I can't allow you to do that. You don't trust me, so why even bother with moving forward with this. You keep wondering why I am delaying us getting married, or having kids, but don't you see what you are doing to me? You don't love me-"

"Seokjin, don't say I don't love you. I love you and cared for you even while you were pregnant. I was there for you during your divorce; I had your back. I allowed you to move in with me. I was there when Jang-Mi was born. Please stop saying absurd things and put the ring back on, I am sorry I should not have hit you. I am just frustrated, that's all." he walks over to me and tries to pull me to him, and I stepped back.

There was no way I was going to repeat another drawn-out relationship, ignoring all the things I should pay attention to. "I can say you don't love me because you don't. There is no way you can love me and speak about my kids the way you do. Us, this, it was a mistake. I had no business, even allowing us to get to this point. You prove to me today the type of man you intend on being should we get married, and I am not signing my life over to this type of treatment, especially not with kids who will be looking towards me in the future. Jae witness what his father and I went through, I refuse for him to witness me being unhappy a second time, so please let's end this.

Thank you for being there when I needed someone. I appreciate it, you helped me to develop in ways I didn't see possible, but honestly, you are not it for me. I guess I was stupid for even jumping into things with you without taking a break after my divorce."

Yoongi had an unreadable expression as he walked closer to me, trapping me in the corner of our room. "You are going to give up on us like this, after everything I have done. This means nothing to you. We can fix this, and we can work on this. I got angry, Jin, you have to understand how I feel. Every two weeks, that fool keeps coming here picking up his kids, they love him. I can't do anything right by them, your son hates. You see the way he looks at me. And all I have asked for is a child of our own, so I can feel like I belong in all of this, but you can't give me that. Then I proposed to you and you are delaying our wedding. Why? Don't you see how this can make me angry?"

"So, being angry gives you the right to hit me? Is that your justification?"

"N-no but-"

I laugh and shake my head, "you are no different. I am done, and honestly, I don't want us to work this out. You just made me realize it's true my kids don't like you, they aren't happy around you either, and neither are you around them. Even though I don't talk to Jungkook unless needed for the benefit of our kids, you find a reason to fight with me due to your insecurities, something I can't fix, and truthfully, I am not the trying to fix it. Let's end this, trust me, you might not see it, but I am helping both of us from making this a permanent disaster. Now, please excuse me."

"I don't get it. You stayed with a cheater for so long, and now you want to give me up? I have never cheated on you! I gave you hope after that loser left you, your ass should be thankful. Fuck, did you use me to get over him?" He walked closer to me, and I pushed him away from me, he stumbled back almost tripping, making me annoyed that he didn't.

"Your true colors are showing, damn, I am dumb. I might have stayed with a cheater, but I refused to stay with someone who disrespects and put their hands on me. You are controlling and inconsiderate of my feelings. You knew the reason why I got a divorce, yet look at you! And you expect I should stay with you. If you want to believe I used you, believe what you want, I don't fucking care, be happy I am not calling the cops on you; asshole." I screamed at him and grabbed my phone, storming out of the house.

Once in my car, I broke down in tears feeling so stupid and humiliated. I had again made a mistake.

********

One week later

Jungkook's Pov:

I looked at the message Jin had sent me confused. He texted me, letting me know to bring the kids to our old house when its time for me to bring them back. Did he and that guy decide to move in there? I wondered to myself. He had gotten the house, well I gave it to him, but after the divorce, he lived there for a short time before moving with his boyfriend.

Something which pissed me off and caused a big argument between us He did not disclose he was moving Jae and our unborn child in with another man, and not just any man, but the one he cheated with.

I thought after getting a divorce, things would be okay, but trust me, it only gets worse, or so it did for the first six months. I didn't know Jin was pregnant when we finalized our divorce, which led us to go back to court. I refuse to have some other man go to the doctor with him to deal with my child.

And if things weren't going bad enough already, he decided to move in with him. I never hurt so much in my life, until he did that and there was nothing I could have done, well there was, but he was pregnant, and I didn't want what had happened before to happen again, so with Namjoon's and my counselor helped I stepped back and focused on what mattered, my kids.

Jin and I were divorced, his life and what he did should not matter to me unless it interfered with the life of my kids. But, somehow, I couldn't stop it from mattering to me, he didn't talk to me, which wasn't shocking, and I couldn't ask the kids either because I didn't want them suffering more than they had Jae mainly. My little Jang-Mi or Mia, as I like to call her, didn't have a clue what was going on.

She caused my life to change a lot, though, every two weeks, I worked remotely at home and restricted myself from traveling so I could be home with her. I didn't want a babysitter taking care of her for me. She was quiet, very quiet, reminded me so much of Jin, while Jae reminded me of myself.

No one could guess a she was in the house because she hardly made noise or cry. If I placed her to sit in one place, she would stay still, something I couldn't do with Jae when he was her age. She looked a lot like Jin too, where Jae resembled me more. It's like our kids were the perfect blend of us. It makes me remorseful for everything I did.

I still believe Jin and I were meant for each other, just life circumstances, and my stupid actions and our lack of communication destroyed our marriage. If I could go back in time, I would've done so many things differently, but I can't, so I have lived with the consequences of my wrongs. Now I focus my life around my kids and working to better myself as a father.  

"Daddy, juice please," Mia taps me on my leg, pulling me from my thoughts.

I smile at her, picking her up as I got up from my seat. "My baby wants juice?"

She nods her head smiling, the smile that resembled her Appa so well, reminding me again how much I fucked up.