An Oddity Among Beasts (BEASTARS)

Audience with The King

    Alan was able to help Haru for a few hours, having to go to a few classes in between and coming right back. His mood stayed sour as he went into the halls, but brightened a bit when he entered the garden again. It was simple and easy—no one to bother him and nothing to hide. The scent he grew to like as well, having an almost calming effect on him. It made him feel as if he were looking at the moon, basking in its light and relishing the feeling of security. He sighed gently, kneeling down in front of a patch near the door and touching the stem.

"You seem a lot calmer than before.", Haru noted.

"I had a lot on my mind. I decided to just let it go for now...", he said quietly.

"Ah, jeez. I think I left my notebook in the dorm. Can you watch the flowers till I get back?"

"Sure."

    This left the human alone for a bit, nothing but his own thoughts to listen to. He tried hard to keep them away from Will or anything related to his secret coming out. He knew he couldn't keep it back forever, but it was necessary in order to keep a clear head. He did end up thinking about Legosi at one point, wondering what he thought of him at the moment. Did he hate him? Does he even want to see him again?

    Then there's the whole of the Drama Club, whose most likely gotten wind of it from those who saw Alan's breakdown. His first thoughts went to Riz, who gave him some encouragement before things went south. The bear asked if his secret was so bad he had to keep it from everyone, and it was—to an extent. He didn't think it would come out so soon, though. Then there's Louis, who probably has a whole essay prepared for him on how idiotic he was to fight in the Drama Club room in the first place.

"Stop thinking about it...", he groaned, rubbing his temples.

I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me right now, he thought as he went to water some of the plants.

"How disappointing of you.", he said in a slightly deep but firm tone. "I had high hopes for the Drama Club's first human member, but you were hiding this side of yourself. Shameful!"

He chuckled dryly and began watering as he heard the door open, "Honestly, I bet he thinks I'm an insane freak..."

"The opposite, actually."

Alan jolted at the voice, a familiar warmth filling the air. His body wanted to shiver, tremble even, but he stayed still. He felt a pit of anxiety swell up inside, nothing like before. It wasn't like when he was exposed in the Drama Club room, but closer than that—almost personal. He pulled the watering can up, doing his best not to drop it with his slightly shaking hands. Slowly, he turned his head, and felt his heart nearly drop at the sight of the deer standing at the entrance with that same indifferent expression.

"I...", he faltered as he turned fully. "I...didn't expect you to be here."

"I was expecting Haru.", Louis said as he glanced around. "Although, I've been wanting to talk to you."

The human's demeanor hardened, "If you're here to talk me down, don't bother. I've been doing a lot of that on my own— and it's working, unfortunately."

"I wasn't planning to, you can be sure of that."

He raised an eyebrow slightly, "I would've half-expected you to go into a rage at me, but I guess it was wishful thinking on my part..."

"I didn't think you had much to hide.", Louis glanced up. "Then again, almost everyone has something they want to keep hidden most of the time."

"Then I guess I'm one of the few who can't keep it hidden.", he set the watering can down and leaned against the cabin. "At least you're not paranoid about me going crazy. About half the whispers I heard in the halls were about me supposedly mauling someone."

"And you haven't?", the deer smirked.

"Of course not!", he growled before sighing. "I'm not even sure what to do at this point. I'm sure-as-hell not ready to go back to Todd yet, and I'm pretty sure everyone and their roommates know about my secret now. I was planning on staying here for a few days and helping Haru, but...that's not gonna help solve this."

"It's honestly kind of irritating to see you act like this."

"What?"

"You're not this distant, usually.", Louis looked at him critically. "You're carefree and outgoing, but now you're almost the same as Legosi."

"I am?"

"You both have parts of yourselves that are intimidating, yet you act as aggressive as houseplants.", he crossed his arms. "I can at least give you a pass since you're only half wolf— much less a first-year, but it doesn't change the fact that you're repressing your own strength."

"Repressing...my strength?"

"You're half wolf, nothing is going to change that. You were able to hide it before, but now it's pointless. If you're going to move past this, the best thing to do is embrace it. Utilize your wolf-half to your advantage!"

    Alan looked down, considering his words. He couldn't stay quiet forever, especially with so many eyes on him. Legosi must be the same way, hiding the ferocious part of himself in exchange for being in the shadows. It brought him back to having lunch with the wolf and Jack on the stairwell, talking about how they felt in that moment. He'd held back for so long, but when he caught wind of Bill doping, he let loose. Alan did the same, but for different reasons.

Even then...

He rubbed his arm, "I don't know if I can. I can move past this with time, but embracing that part of myself..."

A low growl rose in his throat, "I can't bring myself to do that."

"My wolf-half is a curse to me, a monster I cannot control. I'm a living paradox, but it won't stop me. If they want to see me as a wolf, so be it. I'll keep playing the role of a human, even if I have to risk my sanity to do it."

Louis seemed surprised for a moment before composing himself, "Very well. Still, I feel like you could use a change of space— beyond the school walls."

Alan looked up at him, "What do you mean?"

He held his chin for a moment, "I have an idea. There's going to be a Drama Club meeting for the second-years in a few days. I want you to be there before anyone else."

"Alright..."

The deer made his way out before stopping, "Oh, and tell Haru I stopped by."