An Oddity Among Beasts (BEASTARS)

Estranged Souls

Alan felt a distinct shift in his mind after getting back from the city.

His experience in The Ghetto and the revelation that his father set foot there was still fresh after a few days. It brought back memories he pushed deep into himself long ago, never to come back out. At least, that was his intention before meeting a muscular panda doctor. Well, he calls himself a doctor, but the human still wasn't sure whether to believe him on that front.

Gouhin was a strange character to Alan, not exactly a friend but not a bad guy, either. His body and personality told a lot about him— he's not someone to mess with, and is certainly strong enough to hold his own in a fight. The human did have to admit that he made some sense in his argument with Legosi falling for a rabbit he almost killed. It unsettled the human, but it also made him want to reconsider himself.

Specifically, his father.

~~*~~

    Alan was quieter than usual when he went to the garden. He just walked in and started watering the flowers without a word to Haru. The rabbit could almost feel that something was wrong, with the way the human seemed to focus solely on the plants and not even glance at her. They at least had minor conversations, usually, but this felt different. He looked troubled, almost confused to an extent.

    Compared to when they first met, this was different. Back then, Alan was broken down, at a complete loss on what to do. He was vulnerable, similar to a certain deer. This time, though, it seemed like he was trying to distract himself. Even when his mood was sour, he'd at least talk to her briefly. He didn't, though, and this made her feel worried.

"You've been quiet for a while.", she said as she looked at him. "Is something on your mind?"

The human seemed to jump at the question, "Uh...I've just been...thinking."

"Is it about the Drama Club?", she asked, making him tense up slightly. "I figured you haven't been there since you spend most of your time here."

Alan sighed, "Well, it's part of it, at least. I'm not sure if I really want to go back after what happened."

"Have you talked to anyone there?"

"I did run into some friends a few days ago, but I feel like it'd be awkward, y' know?", he shrugged his shoulders. "If I went back, what happened would be looming over me worse than now. I freaked out in front of some of them, and they're probably terrified of the very thought of me coming back! But here..."

He looked at her with a small smile, "I feel better. I feel like it wouldn't matter here, it's just a place to get away from it all."

"Well, at least that's what I get when Louis comes here.", he smirked as Haru seemed to go pink slightly.

"W-what's that supposed to mean?", she asked flustered as she glanced around.

Alan chuckled, "Nothing. It just seems a little weird that Louis comes here a lot, and he was looking for you when he first caught me here."

"Well, we're just good friends is all!"

"Alright, I'll take your word.", he nodded. "So what's he like, beyond the whole 'Silent King' act?"

"Well, he's kind, if you can believe that."

"Eh, I figured. He did try to give me some advice and sent me out to the city— with varying results..."

"Other than that, he's gentle and mostly tired."

"Well, if I had an entire school looking up to me and I acted untouchable around most-everyone, I'd probably be that way, too.", he leaned against the clubhouse wall. "Still, I envy him for that..."

"For what?"

"Being able to keep the mask on.", he glanced up. "He can do it so well, it makes him seem so flawless. He could face almost anyone with that same demeanor of his, and they'd think it's his default! Well, it kind of is, but..."

Alan sighed, "Sometimes I wish I had his confidence. When I saw him on-stage for the first-year performance, part of me felt like I couldn't compare to him. Even as a human, I couldn't hope to reach his level. Yet somehow...he's interested in me."

"I don't think that's very far-fetched.", Haru said. "Besides, you are the first human to come here. Well, that and you're part-wolf."

"True.", he nodded. "By the way, are you doing anything for the Meteor Festival?"

"I usually decorate and try to sell flowers. The money helps with supplies."

"Makes sense. It probably takes a lot for this."

"Not as much as you think. I usually buy fertilizer in bulk, so it lasts a month, at most."

"Huh...I never thought of it that way."

The conversation was idle— for the most part, but it put some things into perspective for Alan. He was never sure how to feel about Louis overall. On one hand, he was very prideful and cut off all his vulnerabilities. On the flip side, he seemed earnest to help the human with his troubles. Whether it was out of pure curiosity or some obligation as the most popular student, he couldn't tell.
He did envy Louis, he realized, but it was for how he faced the world.

Where he faced it with malice and hatred, the deer faced it with a seemingly cold indifference. He wanted that indifference— as at least then, he wouldn't be in his current position.

~~*~~

A.N: Sorry for the late chapter. I got into a rut and needed some time to cool down. Well, that and the world basically turning on its head.

Updates will be slower, unfortunately. Most of you may know what's coming next, but I'm still trying to figure out how to go about it.

Also, I'm 21 now!