An Oddity Among Beasts (BEASTARS)

True Strength

    Alan kept mulling over Louis' words into the next day, replaying the part about repressing his own strength. He was content with hiding his wolf side, but he never thought about his strength being an asset. If anything, it was a hindrance to him and his life. He spent a few years keeping it under wraps, holding his anger back, and hiding any sign of the wolf.

And now, it was exposed.

The most pressing matter for the human was Todd, the thought of losing him as a friend ever-present. Try as he might, he couldn't stop remembering the moment he scratched the goat. Part of him wanted to stay away—both for Todd's safety and his own sanity. Yet another wanted to talk to him, try and patch things up. His heart sunk, either way, the all-too-real possibility that he may never see him the same way again.

As he walked through the halls, Alan tuned everything out to think to himself. As calming as the garden was, he knew he couldn't stay there forever. He had to say something before the rumors got out of hand. He should be used to having eyes on him at this point, but this attention was of a different sort. Not out of curiosity and wonder, but fear and prejudice. It almost made him want to growl at the feeling, the hatred inside bubbling forth gently.

    He slumped at a window, looking out to the campus. Everyone was going on with their day, probably still gossiping about him and his wolf side. He closed his eyes, remembering his first day that felt so long ago now. His excitement was real, as was his nervousness. He didn't think he'd do so much in the short time he spent at Cherryton. If he could go back, he would, but he had no idea what to change. If anything, he would go back even further than his days at Cherryton, to where his hatred surfaced.

"Alan..."

He grits his teeth at the memory.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, and I won't ask for things to return to normal— it won't be for us."

He tousled his hair with a low groan, "Stop remembering it...I don't want to remember!"

"Alan?"

He tensed up and turned, "R-Riz..."

The bear glanced around for a second, "I heard about what happened. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, for the most part.", he sighed, "Everyone knows now, and I'm basically trying not to lose it. Then there's Todd..."

"Who's Todd?"

"My roommate, and kind of my best friend.", he rubbed an arm. "Although I'm really not sure at this point. He was there when I broke down, and if that wasn't enough, I—"

He froze, not wanting to say it.

"You...hurt him?"

He nodded, "I ran out after that, and I've been avoiding him ever since. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to him, but part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near him! What if...what if I hurt him again? What if I lose it?"

    He held his head, shaking slightly. He felt like he was falling into a pit, plunging into darkness. Alan couldn't take the tension any longer, and yet he couldn't go back. It felt as if he were crossing into a dark corner, a forbidden place of taboo and wickedness. He couldn't even go back to the Drama Club out of the fear that they'd hate him, even if Louis didn't!

"If you're going to move past this, the best thing to do is embrace it."

He snorted silently, "As if I could..."

Riz hesitated for a moment before putting a hand on the human's head, "Maybe he'll understand. He's been with you since you first came, right?"

"Yeah, and I may or may not have pulled him into a scheme..."