Soothe

4: His Office

Author's Note:

Here's where the canon divergences come in.

Hope you enjoy the quick turnaround on this one.

And the alcohol.

For naylorholby on Wattpad-

Who has been talking with me all day and wanted this chapter :D

bobbiejelly.

Soothe

I n Which Meredith teaches Addison how to self-soothe.

Before Meredith married Derek, and After she'd almost told Addison she liked her.

F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. MerAdd. Meddison. GA/PP Fanfiction.

Set during GA - "Before After/An Honest Mistake & PP - Acceptance/Ex-Life. Rated M.

Inspired by "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Illegal Kittens, "Blame Game" by LordOfLezzies, and "All We Ever Are We Are" by SilverStarsAndMoons.

Chapter 4: His Office

In Which Addison needs alcohol, and Meredith helps her to find it.

1

"I wish that I could do something for him," Addison now says to Meredith. Eventually, after a long and twisty debate, Meredith decided to go sit next to Addison in the gallery after Callie had to leave to check on a patient. She ignored all the jeering from Mark and just sat down there, close to Addison but not touching her, and not holding her hand like she wanted to.

And Addison enjoyed the company long enough to feel soothed by it so she leaned in a bit closer, to say that to her. "I know," Meredith sighs back at Addison, looking up at her so Addison could see in her big baby blue eyes how much she really really meant it. Derek is taking out the second or third-or-so cyst and Addison is clenching her nails into her palms. It looks painful.

And the sadistic part of Meredith wants to hold out her hand so Addison could squeeze HER palms with her nails. Just so she could feel that physical pipeline of Addison's emotional pain in real life, real-time in full special effects. But of course, they are in the gallery now, and Derek could look up at either one of them. So of course, there's no way to hold her hand. Meredith doesn't.

Instead, Meredith just wills Addison telepathically to hold on, to have hope, to give strength. Meredith realizes that telepathy is not an actual method of communication between human beings but she tries it anyway because, at the very least, it's not actually incriminating in any way, either. That is, because the point of telepathy in itself, is that it doesn't actually exist.

What does exist though, are the bags under Addison's eyes and the wariness in her posture. She's worn down even though her outfit looks brand new and she's wearing enough makeup she'd be able to fake it for a camera. But she can't fake it enough for Meredith not to notice it from right up beside her. She can't hide from the Grey girl who can see every inch of no sleep.

"You can rest, if you want," Meredith asks in an open-ended way. She doesn't specify because she has no suggestions for just how to offer her this. She'd do anything to touch her, to reach out, to stroke her hair. But she won't, even if it looks like it might help a whole lot. "I'm okay," Addison lies to her, but in a way, she knows she's not even trying at all to deceive Meredith.

2

"What do you do?" Addison asks Meredith idly, and Meredith can't figure out what is the question she's supposed to be answering so she gives Addison a sort of questioning gesture, motioning for her to go on and give her more of a hint. "What helps you take all the pain away?" She asks. And Meredith could have died laughing at Addison asking HER for coping strategies."