The First

Chapter Twenty Three

A few weeks had passed since Becky and Chris had been caught by Joel. He still refused to speak to Chris but was showing up to rehearsals and any studio time they had booked. He wouldn't speak a lot in their interviews but he was doing his best to keep everything going as normal as it had always been for the cameras. Chris understood that he shouldn't have slept with Becky but in his eyes, Joel had given all of them a free pass when he let the bet continue. Joel texted Becky every day. He didn't care what she had done to hurt him, he knew he deserved all of it. Joel decided it wasn't a good idea to visit Becky unannounced so he just sent his usual text messages. He was close to giving up when he received a text from Becky. For the first time since their relationship ended, she had messaged him.

'Can you come over?'

Ali was out of town so Joel knew that if he was going to go over, it would just be the two of them. His heart jumped for a brief moment, hoping that this would be the moment they get back together but then quickly sank when he thought that maybe this was the moment they would end everything once and for all. Even though they had broken up, Joel still felt like there was something going on between them. If there wasn't something still lingering between them then she would have told him to stop messaging her but Joel knew that her feelings were still there.

Joel raced to Becky as soon as he could, knocking on the door with such force Becky jumped from fright when she first heard the banging on the door. She walked over to the door, looking through the peephole and her heart burst when she saw Joel. She instantly started sobbing. She knew this would happen. She had asked him over because she was reminiscing and the hurt was hitting her worse today then it had before. She found it easier to handle when she was angry and yelling but right now she just wanted him to wrap his arms around her and apologise.

She opened the door letting Joel see just how emotional she was. Without speaking he took a step into the house wrapping his arms around her. His breath fanning down her neck slowly calming her down. She continued to sob holding onto his shirt with her fists.

"Why?" she sobbed, "Why did you have to ruin everything?"

Joel's eyes welled up with tears as he heard the pain in her voice. He led her to the couch rubbing her back soothingly while she cradled herself into his body.

"Mi amor, I am so sorry. Please forgive me."

She sat up, taking Joel's face in her hand while the other wiped her tears.

"I forgave you a long time ago Joel," she sighed as she looked into his eyes that began to lighten with hope. "But forgiveness doesn't erase it. We can't ever be together after something like this Joel."

That was it. That was the moment Joel realised they were done. That's why she was sobbing. It wasn't just because of the actions he had made, it was because something so great would never come back to either of them. Joel could have cried but he held back doing his best to suppress his emotions.

"Why don't we just hang out? Watch a movie or something?" he offered.

Becky put herself back together, wiping her tears and nodding she walked to the TV, ready to put a movie on. Just as she was ready to settle back in next to Joel, she heard Ali's keys in the door. Becky looked to the door almost frozen, she was embarrassed that after the way Joel had treated her she was happy to sit with him and watch a film. So she quickly turned to Joel.

"You should leave."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Joel?" Ali asked a smile forming on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"H-he was just leaving?"

Joel was still lounging on the couch, looking at Becky confused.

"I was?"

"Yes." Joel stood up looking around confused. He had thought they could share a few hours together before he walked out changing their relationship forever. He knew that as soon as he walked out the door, things would be different for them. Becky was all but pushing him out the door with Ali watching as a bystander, unsure what to do. As Joel walked out, Clara was arriving. Once Becky closed the door behind Joel while letting Clara in, Ali waited around the kitchen. "I thought you were coming back tomorrow?" Becky asked, showing her surprise at Ali's arrival.

"Plans changed. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"N-no, you weren't interrupting anything. I just told him it's over. Never happening again." Becky shrugged like the conversation she had just had didn't tear her heart in two. "Girls night?" she asked, pulling wine out of the fridge and turning to Clara and Ali.

Both girls nodded eagerly.

"You know," Clara started, "no one will think you're an idiot if you give him another chance."

Becky rolled her eyes, "not happening." She was showing a brave face but Clara's words soothed Becky and her need for Joel.

The weeks passed and Becky hadn't contacted any of the other boys. Her and Chris had been hanging out and he mentioned that all the boys missed her and wanted to apologise but Becky was waiting for them to make the first move.

"They do want to apologise, they just want to do it in person." Chris smiled as they sat watching TV.

Today was the day they would have their chance. Becky walked into the studio with Ali and Clara, their arms entwined to support Becky. She was incredibly nervous to see all of them again.

"Becky!" Zabdiel smiled running over pulling her into a hug.

Becky had expected all the boys to be there but Joel was nowhere to be seen.

"We've all wanted to talk to you." Richard squeezed Becky tighter than he has in his entire life.

"Sit please." Erick gestured to Becky's chair.

"Can we have a minute?" Chris asked Ali and Clara. The girls nodded leaving the room while Chris took a seat next to Becky. He knew that his presence would soothe her. He wrapped an arm around her chair and kissed her cheek. "You good?"

"I think so." she whispered.

"We just wanted to apologise for everything we did." Richard started, "We were acting like idiots, we were thinking like fucked up men."

"We weren't thinking like your friends." Zabdiel interjected.

"And we are your friends." Erick smiled. "We're sorry."

"Really sorry." Zabdiel smiled sadly.

"Super sorry." Richard said. "Are you still going to be working with us?"

"Of course!" Becky smiled. "You guys are the only reason I have a job."

Becky and the boys spent the rest of the day together, hanging out and laughing like always. She was nervous that things would feel uncomfortable because of what they had done but she realised your friendship meant a lot to her. Joel arrived at the studio a little while later, he looked as distraught as he did every other time she had seen him. Becky smiled at him softly but his eyes didn't meet hers. He was avoiding your gaze and she couldn't blame him. It was much easier to pretend one another didn't exist than to acknowledge the pain they both felt.