Olympic Conquest

Lainey - Nothing She Can Do

The free skate competition is a blur. As a team, we do what we set out to do. We unseat the Russian team and take home the gold. We're victorious but for some reason, I'm not as happy as I thought I would be.

Mom and I get back from the medal ceremony late. There were lots of interviews and we have a ton more tomorrow. Right away, we do a video call with my dad and brother. They're hollering and cheering since they were able to watch the competition live in the States. It's the middle of the day for them and bedtime for us.

"Lainey, I knew you could do it. I'm very proud of you," my dad says.

"Thanks Dad. It feels good."

"Pretty impressive sis," my brother says.

"Thanks, I still have two more competitions so I can't relax just yet."

"You'll do great," Dad says. "What does the medal look like?"

I unzip my team jacket and pull it out for my dad and brother to see. We all look at it, mesmerized by what it symbolizes.

"We're all really proud of you honey," my mom says and puts her arm around me.

"Thanks everyone. I'm so exhausted. Would you mind if I went to bed now?"

"Of course," my dad says.

"Sure, honey, ice your hip again. We'll get you a massage tomorrow. Get some rest," my mom kisses my cheek and I say my goodbyes.

As I lie in bed, I examine the gold medal. I run my fingers over every groove and think about my journey to winning this medal – all the years of doing jumps and spins and practicing routines over and over and wondering if I would ever make it this far. Participating in countless competitions and holding onto a dream that I would one day be an Olympic champion. And after one routine this evening that dream has come true. Everyone is asking, how does it make me feel? I am happy of course. But if I were to be honest, I thought it would be a bigger moment. I thought I would be even happier and feel more satisfied. I can't help but wonder what's next? Where do I go from here? I try not think about it as I still have two more competitions. I need to remain focused. Winning the ladies' single competition is even more important to my career. I need to keep my eye on the ball.

I place the gold medal under my pillow. It feels good to keep it close. I think of Cory and I check my phone. No text. I want to be able to share moments like tonight with the man I love. Why is he deciding what is best for me? Don't I have a say in the matter?

I finish icing my hip and pile on as many blankets as I can find and fall asleep, hoping I will wake up to a better situation.

The next day, I wake up and reach for the gold medal under my pillow. It's there, confirming it wasn't all just a dream. Getting some rest makes me feel more positive about everything, including Cory. With a brighter perspective, I decide to go for a walk after breakfast – a quick break before I am due back on the ice to focus on the short and long programs coming up this weekend.

I run into John, Cory's teammate, in the Olympic Village.

"John, it's Lainey. How are you?"

"Oh hey, I'm doing great."

"The downhill competition is today, right?" I ask.

"It sure is – in a couple of hours. I'm just getting a small bite and heading up to the mountain."

"Well good luck. How do you feel?"

"I feel pretty good. Cory gave me some solid advice and I was able to fix a few things. I feel like I'm more ready than I was."

"Very cool." An awkward silence.

"He really likes you, you know."

"Oh yeah, Cory? He has a hard time showing it."

"He's been through a lot. You're good for him. Don't give up on him."

I nod, not sure what to say.

And then he steps back and puts his arm up in front of me, "Oh and congrats to you on gold!" He high fives me. "Dude, we were so excited for you and your team. My girlfriend and I can't wait to see your competition this weekend."

"Yeah? You're coming?!"

"Wouldn't miss it! My girlfriend's a huge fan."

"Awesome!"

"Okay, I've got to go. I need some food before I hit the slopes."

"Break a leg! Oh, wait, I didn't mean that. Get the gold!" I yell.

"I will!" He laughs and heads into the cafeteria.

My legs carry me to the hospital. I go to the room where I left Cory last night, unsure if I will be welcome or not. Only the room is empty. I run to the nurse's station. "I'm a friend of Cory – the skier who was in that room last night. Do you know where he is?"

The nurse looks up from her paperwork. "Are you Lainey?"

"Yes," I say.

"He and his family told me to tell you that they left for America today."

"That's impossible. He was still recovering."

"He really wanted to go home and the doctor gave him the greenlight to be transferred. I'm sorry. He's gone."

"When did they leave?" I'm trying to think what route I should take to the airport.

"They left late last night. They said they were going to take off around midnight."

I realize there's nothing I can do at this point. He's back in America, thousands of miles away from me. Cory has made the decision for us.

I throw myself into my practice with a vengeance – it's the only way I can keep my mind from thinking about him. I will do what I came here to do and then go home and focus on the future – alone.