And I Owe It All To You

My Star's

I started thinking about what just happened. Even though it was a joke, it felt so real. Maybe because it was exactly the same as my fear of losing Kevin. Thinking of him with some other girl gave me immense pain, the pain which I felt when I lost my Daddy. From day one I was knowing the things may not be permanent between us and I was supposed to be ready to accept it and move on if in case he doesn't want me. I wanted to live in present, cherish each moment of our love without thinking about tomorrow but I am way too involved with him now. I want him, I want more, I want him all for me. I never knew love can be so intense so magnificent. The way he loves me, cares for me, looks at me, touches me, adores me... It makes me feel alive. He loves me the way, that even I don't love myself. He has become my habit. I want to build our future together... Shit.. shit.. shit.. I am so much in trouble now, and I certainly don't want to create trouble for him by pushing myself on him when he doesn't want me. I can't be clingy, That's just not me. He will just need to tell me he doesn't want me. He is not bound to stick around me if he is just not into me. We are not into some kind of hard and fast relationship after all.

I looked at him. He was looking at me. I nodded towards him.

He came running to me.

I am sorry... Please... love... He said and tried holding my hand.

Can we talk?... I smiled and asked him.

Let's sit there... He took me by hand and started walking. We sat on the sand.

Kevin, I wanted to tell you something. I want you in my life. More than anything I ever wanted. And I love you, there is no question about that. Today whatever happened it felt so real to me. I need to clear something here. If any point of time... I mean any... you feel you don't want me you need to just tell me to... Leave... I promise I won't ask any questions after that. It just I can't see you with someone else when we are still together... A tear slipped from the corner of the eye. I wiped it and looked at him...

He was looking hurt. I understand why are you saying this love... And I can't think of hurting you, not even in my dreams. But you need to trust me when I say that it's you and only you, no one else. I am scared too... Sam... To think about what will I do if you will ever decide to give up on me... I am very serious about us, love... And I am not at all going to take our relationship for granted, not even for a second... I can't afford to lose you in my life...

Then he hugged me tightly and said I love you...

I love you too Kevin... I looked into his eyes.

He was still looking sad, thinking about something.

I need coffee, my head is heavy... I told him.

He smiled. Let's go then...

We went to a local restaurant to have coffee. We were just looking into each other's eyes and not saying a single word. I was finally at peace.

While going back I saw a tattoo parlor, nearby our place.

When we reached home Akash and Raghav were waiting for us. I went across and hugged them.

Guy's I need to go somewhere, should we?... I asked them.

They both looked at me smiling. 

Hell Yesss... Let's go... Akash said.

I looked at Kevin. I need some time with my boys...

He smiled and nodded, then he kissed on my forehead.

I took them to the tattoo parlor.

Let's have tattoo guys... I said while beaming.

What... Akash and Raghav said in a single tone and looked at each other in horror.