I'll stay by your side, Levi Heichou

Corpse Nightmares

This is a horrible nightmare.
I look all around me, and I see dead bodies surrounding me. Some are jumbled up in balls of throw up. Some are decapitated. Everyone else cleaning, looks just as terrified as me. But the worst thing I saw, was the body of a baby, being clinged on by it’s decapitated mother.
The baby was cold, and filled with death.
All this happens, because of the titans. Why does this all happen? I run into places, with heads. I find my sister, throwing up in a corner.
I want to comfort her, but I have to get this job done.
I can’t tell how many corpses I’ve seen. But probably one of the worst, was when I saw a dead Friza and half a Franz, holding hands.
I knew that they both loved each other. So seeing this, made me feel useless. I’m sorry guys.
I don’t remember how long it took to clean everything up. But for a few days, it was in my dreams. Nightmares. And I keep seeing Lily dying, and my comrades dying. Corpses all around me. This was… Hell.
About 2 weeks pass, and I’m already liking my new supervisor and teacher. He’s really nice and patient with all of us.
I’m still steps away from avenging my parents, and Lily. Every day is a challenge to live. Sometimes, I want to stay in bed, and drift off to death. To no longer feel this pain, that’s eating me.
For this damn hell to end. Please. Just end it. If my life could be exchanged for peace, I’d gladly give it away. Just let this hell end.
Sometimes, I wish I could fall asleep in Eren’s arms, just like I used to as a kid. That was the way I could actually sleep, in peace. I felt safe in his arms. Eren makes me feel… actually somewhat useful, and with purpose.
Eren is like a light to me. Guiding me. Eren. Where are you now?
~~
I feel happy, but yet terrified. I’m in the Survey Corps, but all these things keep popping in my mind. So many thoughts of death appear. But all I care about, is keeping what is precious to me alive.
I worry about Eren sometimes, and how he’s being treated, by the Corporal. But I try not to worry much. I need to know how to pay attention in my new class, under a new superior.
Mikasa also worries about Eren. You could say, “More” than I do. But the thing is, Mikasa is obsessive about Eren. She acts like his mother, and I don’t think that’s too healthy.
I know about her feelings. She’s always loved Eren. I think shes always liked him, since they were kids. These ridiculous feelings pop into my head. Pay attention. This is survival. No time for ‘love’.
We’re all practicing on how to care for horses, and we’re acknowledged about that we’ll get our cloaks soon. The wings of freedom. We tend to the horses, and I glance to my side, curious of who is walking near us.
I feel my heart leap, and I see Eren. I nearly drop my comb. I place it down, and sneak over to him.
“Eren.” He turns around, surprised to see me. I hug him tightly, feeling overjoyed. “Eren. Thank Sina… I’m so happy you’re alright.”
“Thanks Taka. How are you and the other’s doing?”
“We worry and miss you a lot. In fact, I’ll go tell Mikasa and the others. They’ll be so happy to see you.”
“Let me ask Levi Heichou if its alright.” Eren walks away, and comes back, with a smile plastered on his face. I run back, and inform everyone Eren was here.
Mikasa and Armin, bolt out to Eren, as soon as they heard the news. Jean and the others joined in. I walked over, once again, to hear conversation.
“Eren. Are you ok? How are they treating you?” Here we go again. Jeez Mikasa. “That shorite went too far. I’ll see him pay.” Her face turns dark, and she snarls, in thought of Levi Heichou. I snapped at Mikasa’s lack of thinking, and speaking out loud in that way.
“Mikasa! Don’t talk that way about Levi Heichou! Use your brain! Think about it. It’s because of Levi Heichou that Eren is even alive right now!” I scold Mikasa. She doesn’t use her head that much.
She tends to use her brawn more than her brain. I look afar, and see Levi Heichou himself! I nearly yelp. MIKASA. SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. HE’S HERE. He walks off, tending to his horses. Jesus Christ Mikasa. Are you trying to kill us all?
Then they’re here. Our wings. I put on the wings of freedom, and feel somewhat proud of myself. This is my time. To fight back.
~~
Another 2 weeks pass, and I’m summoned. A messenger, tells me the news, to go see the commander. I’m shocked, but I follow orders anyways. He leads me to Commander Erwin’s office. I knock on the door, and I’m ordered to enter.
I walk inside, curious, and scared. I see the Commander, sitting down, dealing with paperwork on his desk.
I try to do my best to salute. “Come closer Ms. Kazami.” I walk closer. “Welcome. I suppose you’re wondering why I called you.” I honestly am curious. “You may answer.”
“Uh yes. Actually Commander, I’m a bit curious of why you summoned me. Have I done something… wrong?”
“On the contrary. Ms. Kazami. I’m going to move you to the Special Operations Squad.”
I’m bewildered. The Special Operations… That’s where Eren is. “Sir.”
“Yes.”
“May I ask why I’m being sent there? By any chance, is this about Eren?”
“Yes. Over periods of time, we have noticed that you make an impact on Eren Jeager. You seem to calm him down. Also, for other reasons. We find your skills, to be very excellent. For someone that isn’t in the Survery Corps yet, to kill 8 titans. That’s very good.” He knows about that?! “For several reasons, you are being moved to the Special Operations. You will help when it comes to helping Eren Jeager. Earlier recordings, indicate that you yelled at Eren’s titan form, and it helped him grab the boulder.” But that was Armin…
“But Sir-”
“We need your power in the Special Operations. You will be moved to the Squad. Am I understood?” I grit my teeth, wanting to give the credit to Armin. But maybe… Just maybe I can actually be useful.
Commander Erwin sends me away, to go pack my things, to prepare myself, to join the Survey Corps.