Treebros oneshots

Something New

**Evan's P.O.V**

Dear Evan Hansen

Here, again, on my laptop writing letters to myself that never really help me at all. I honestly don't know why my mom keeps making me go to Dr. Sherman. I can't convince her that these letters are not working. I still have a lot of anxiety and insecurities that haven't been fixed. Welp, the good thing is I get to see Zoey today. This is the start of the second month of school. Nothing changed. I'm still invisible, no one notices me hardly. But I can feel a change today. It's a weird feeling, and maybe I'm just too hungry to think, but I feel like something is going to happen today, I just know it.

I hear a knock at the door. I knew it was my mother, I could tell when she knocks on my door. She knocks very lightly, but you can still hear it. She knocks four times instead of the usual three. She likes to make sure I know it's her. I mean, there also is no point for her to knock. She comes in right after. I guess it's just a warning, telling me "hey, I'm here!"

My mom came in, surveying the room just like she did on my first day of school. I looked as she scanned my room. She looked at my arm as if something was supposed to be there. I feel like she can't forget how my cast was there on my arm, but it's gone now so I'm relieved just a bit more. She sat on the side of my bed and looked at my blanket as if something was there. She usually stares off into space a little bit, must be because she's tired. "So have you been writing those letters Dr. Sherman asked you to write?" My mom said, glaring at me with her tiring eyes. I nodded, shifting a little bit to give her more room. She smiled tiredly, I could tell this was a smile of proudness too. "You'll be better in no time." She said. "Yea..." I said. There was nothing to be proud of at this moment. I can barely even right anything without telling the truth. All I can write is "Dear Evan Hansen, today's gonna be a good day and here's why. I never even have a good day so that's a lie right there. "Well, you should be getting ready for school now." She said, sliding off my bed, glancing in another direction. 

I could tell her thoughts were rushing all around her, her brain just being off. I honestly want to help, but it seems as if when I try to help I shut down also. I can't even mutter a word of encouragement right now. "Hey, I love you," I say. I don't know why I said that. It just slipped out of my mouth. I'm not saying I don't love her, but I didn't expect to say that. Her head tilts slightly, her mouth forms a little smile. "I love you too, Evan." She said. There was something in her voice that just, I don't know, just felt more real. She walks away slowly from my room. I hear her softly close the door. Welp, that happened. That was calmer than I thought. I slide myself off my bed and put on my shoes. I walk downstairs. The house looks much neater than I remember. She probably cleaned it when she got back, she has a habit of doing that. I walk out the door. Today, I decide to go on the bus again hopefully, the ride will be much better than the first day was.

I wait at the bus stop. I look and see a girl on the phone, oblivious to the world. I wonder what is on that phone. I can't help but be nosey. She turns her head at me and I turn my head back to the ground. I can feel the confusion on her face but she just shrugs it off. I turn my head the other way, and you wouldn't believe who I saw. Connor Murphy. Him? Going on the bus? That's a first in my book. His deep brown hair waves over his shoulder as he is looking down at something. His hair is covering his eyes. His sweater sleeves are pulled up just above his elbow, which his sweater is black as always. "Is there something you want?" Connor says, not moving in any way. Was he talking to me? I couldn't tell. I blush profusely, averting my eyes to the ground again. I always blush when I'm nervous for some reason. I start fumbling with the end of my shirt. Just a way to cope with this situation. This day is already a total trainwreck. I'm blushing because I'm nervous and now it looks like he is my crush.