Celebrity oneshots

On The Inside

CORBYN BESSON (WHY DON'T WE MEMBER) AND CHRISTINA MARIE (BEAUTYCHICKEE)

Christina thought she had been doing well at hiding it. Everyone always commented on how happy she was, how she was always laughing, smiling, enjoying life.

And on the outside, she was.

But it was on the inside, that was where noone could see the truth she tried so hard to conceal.

In her mind, the darkness haunted her, enveloping every  thought. No one could ever see it, but it was better that way. So when she was around people, she smiled. She laughed, she acted. She always made others laugh, attracting attention away from the everlooming truth laying beneath her skin.

If everyone was laughing at something she said or did, no-one would realize that the smile gracing her lips wasn't reaching her eyes.

At night, it became worse, especially when she was alone. Tossing and turning, Christina would attempt to fall asleep, let her mind relax for a few blissful hours, but it wouldn't happen. The dark thoughts were like needles apearing, she'd churn them over in her mind as they pricked her skin.

There were times when she wanted to scream, to cry, to throw something, to stop the pain. But she didn't.

So she'd lay there, the darkness in her and around her, eating away at every peice of happiness she'd been able to find. Then the one time she thought she was free, while asleep, they possessed her dreams.

One day she met him. For a brief period, things changed; At night, she could sleep peacefully, no waking up every hour.

Christina's smiles and laughs were real. She felt happy. Of course, this didn't last long.

It never did.

And so, the mask of makeup went back on, the wall of acting building back up, so he would always belive she was the same happy Christina that bumped into him at Vidcon.

It was only after being free from everything for a few weeks that she realised how tired she was. Tired of pretending, acting like nothing was going on, that she wasn't hurting. Tired of being alone.

Yet she continued to hide it, beacuse she was Christina Marie. She was Beautychickee. She was happy and talented. She made people laugh.

And she thought that she was good at hiding  it, after all the years practice. Until she wasn't.

Corbyn and the Christina were sat in a comfortable silence: him jotting down ideas for a new song and her editing.

It was evening, outside had grown dark. Along with Christina's mind.

All day it had been a struggle - one of her worse days, where she felt awkward within her own skin and faking a smile was even more exhausting. She had almost let out a sigh of relief when Corbyn suggested a relaxed day at home, the thought of going out into the public, being seen by more people almost too much for her.

Even now, sat with her laptop, the video was barely edited because her mind would not focus. She could feel the heavy thoughts weighing down on his mind, his body, his entire being.

Christina's headphones were on, but no sound came through them. Her eyes were locked on the screen, but were not registering anything. She hadn't done anything for nearly half an hour.

Instead the dark thoughts had taken over once again.

She jumped and squealed slightly when she felt a foot nudge hers and then lifted her gaze to see a perceptive look on Corbyn's face, looking straight back at her.

Pulling her headphones down and around her neck, she shot him a questioning look, but all he did was tilt her head towards her.

"What?" Christina finally asked, her tone soft and tired sounding.

"You know you can tell me, right?" His knees were bent and his notebook lay, forgotten, against his thighs. Corbyn lay casually against a cushion on the couch and, for a single moment, Christina felt a burst of joy that he was there there, like he was always meant to be there. It quickly disappeared, overridden with a mix of confusion and worry.

"Tell you what?" Tilting her head back, dragging her hands down her face and only half paying attention to the conversation the couple shared, the other half anxious that she wouldn't get her video edited and uploaded in time.

"Please Tina. Don't do this, not with me."

"I still have no idea what you're on about Bean." Another small, but still fake smile glancing across her face, just incase she was misjudging the situation and he was talking about something else. Although she still let her head tilt back more, eyes staring at the ceiling as another attempt not to let tears fall.

"Most people call it depression, but I know everyone has their own name and explanation for it."

Christina's head snapped up then, eyes wide as she stared over at her boyfriend. Her mouth went dry, breath seeming to have left her, but not in a panic attack kind of way. More, her needing an explanation of how her knew and what he meant by saying this now. Corbyn was still sat there calmly, looking over at his girlfriend.

He continued, "I know you think I haven't noticed. But I have. It's been quite a while since then. I was waiting, hoping you would talk to me, or even one of our friends, but you haven't. I'm not saying you have to now, I would never force you to. But I also want you to know that I'm willing and ready to talk, whenever you are. So just, remember that."

He closed his notebook, tossing it onto the nearby coffee table casually, before he stood, stretching his arms above his head. Sending a small, loving smile towards Christina and bending to kiss her softly on the forehead, he left the room towards the kitchen.

"Want a drink?" He asked.

Christina remained on the couch, unsure of how or even if he could respond. She watched him move into the kitchen, humming to himself before stopping to make them both a drink.

By now the tears builing a clouded wall against her eyes were ready to burst out of their confinements, but it was different to other times she had cried. This time it was almost out of relief, because someone else knew. But Corbyn wasn't demanding anything answers from her, simply acknowledging her emotions and encouraging her to tell him.

The next thing she knew, she was stood in the kitchen next to her supportive boyfriend. His back was facing her as he fiddled with the kettle. Christina gently tapped on his shoulder as the tears finally escaped, cascading down her blushed cheeks. He turned around just in time to see her small figure wrapping her arms around him, hands clinging onto his shirt and and face burying into his chest. After a few minutes of him comforting her, he felt her cries soften and she relaxed into him.

Standing together for a couple more moments, studying the faces that they had both already memorised weeks ago, Christina spoke two simple words into his ear, so soft he could barely hear them - "Thank you."