I wish on lonely nights like this that I had someone to call my own. I wish that I wasn't thinking about the person who stays carved in my bones, the one who is now part of my heart. I wish that at some point of my life that I would stop drinking because when I look at my dad drunk I feel either disgusted or jealous. I wish that I didn't have to be high off of the tree branches that I sit upon to feel like I'm okay. I wish that night that I wasn't intoxicated by both my favorite poisons that way I could act on impulse voluntarily. I wish so many things tonight. I wish that I didn't want you anymore. I wish that I would stop listening to my SAD playlist on Spotify at 2:08 am on fathers day morning. I just wish I could do without all the toxic chemicals listed as, 'Salvation' to keep me smiling when in reality, I'm far from that. My heart aches, and what's funny is, is that I have absolutely no reason for it to because I have no one that it should yearn for.
YOU ARE READING
The Hardest Prison to Escape is your Mind
ŞiirMy poems of healing quit short I must say although it took me about two years. I want you to see I'm better and that I don't need her.