Where Are You?

CHAPTER NINE~

        I was playing with my phone on the couch when mom entered the house. I spent the whole afternoon waiting for her return and before she could even remove her shoes I was by her side squeezing the life out of her.

"Mom! Mom I missed you so much!"

"Oh Ahlaam! You'll never change, will you?" Mom said good naturedly.

"Not a chance mother dearest." She removed her niqab and kissed my forehead tenderly. I followed my mom to the couch and sat beside her.

"Mama can I get you something to drink?"

"No dear, I'm fine alhamdulillah. Did you eat something? What about Yusuf-"

"Ma I made some lunch and we ate. What about you? And where did you go?" I asked. But before she could answer Yusuf came down the stairs and joined us.

"Assalamu aleikum." He announced as he kissed mom on the forehead and sat on the opposite chair. "Wa aleikum salaam honey, how are you feeling?" Mom inquired.

"Alhamdulillah, much better and before you ask, yes, I took my medicine." Yusuf said smiling. knowing my mom, that would've been the next question she'd ask. Mom just smiled. We knew her to well.

"Good. And since you're both here I want to tell you that dad will be coming home next week InshaAllah." Alhamdulillah, finally dad was coming home. Oh how I've missed him so much. He goes to long distance business ventures merchandising goods and this time he was in Morocco. Sure he called us constantly but it's just not the same; especially since he's never been away from us for six months. Oh Allah bring him safe and sound to us InshaAllah.

"Finally! But when exactly mom?" Yusuf voiced eagerly.

Mom laughed at his eagerness, " I don't know when exactly but it should be somewhere next week InshaAllah. So I want you guys to clean your rooms thoroughly. Especially you Ahlam. I'll be supervising."
Aw man! I can handle cleaning my room, it's my closet that I'm dreading.

I gasped. "What do you mean mother? I always clean my room."

"Really? What about that closet of yours?" she asked raising an eyebrow. I didn't answer her, instead I scooted closer to her and hugged her while I placed my head on her shoulder.

We chatted for a while and I learned that mom was out today to order some curtains which she'll be picking up tomorrow and that we were also invited to aunt Hafsa's aka Muna's mother in law for dinner.

Muna was going to be there too.

I don't know why, but the thought of seeing Muna was making me nervous. But it has been three months since I last contacted her and it has been even longer since I last saw her. I suddenly didn't want to go to that dinner. I had a gut feeling that I would regret going. Every fiber in my body was screaming at me not to go. But knowing my mother, she'll make sure I go one way or another. Besides, it was not appropriate to turn down an invitation without a valid reason.

I never thought I'll ever be nervous to meet Muna. My best friend.

My sister.

"Ahlam are you okay? You zoned out for a minute there." Mom asked. I nodded and stood up."Yes I'm fine. Am just going to get started on organizing my closet so that I can help you with the rest of the house."

I needed to calm myself down. I glanced at an awfully quiet Yusuf only to see him scrutinizing me and to my surprise he gave me a brief smile. He knew my friendship with Muna wasn't the same and I guess he also knew I was panicking internally. Despite our fight, he was trying to make me feel better. I left the living room without another word.

Once I reached my room I started taking deep breathes to calm the feeling of doom that was wrecking havoc inside me.

It's going be ok. I chanted repeatedly in my head.

Maybe cleaning will help me calm down and what better way than to fold clothes. Opening my closet I removed every single piece of clothe and dumped them on my bed. I might as well use this opportunity to get something done.

My closet wasn't big but it was always the untidy part of my room. I sat down on the floor and begun sorting out the clothes. I started with the abayas since they made up the majority of my wardrobe when I saw a navy blue book poking amongst the heap of clothes. I had forgotten about this book. How did it even end up in the closet? It was a journal given to me by Muna when I was ten. I always hid it well because it had alot of personal stuff I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. And frankly, I would die if anyone read its contents. I took the old book and put it on the bottom drawer of my night stand.

Before knowing it, I had finished everything but the horrible feeling was still there.

If anything, it intensified as time passed.

Ya Allah turn my restlessness into tranquility. Only You have the ability to do that.

Only Allah knows what's in store for me tomorrow.