In The Mix

Chapter 5

This is unedited. I apologize for taking so long to get this up. I honestly don't know how fond I am of this chapter so I may rewrite it at a later date but for now here it is. Hope y'all enjoy! Also, I apologize if any of this is a little dark.

Kenzie's POV:

Blowing out a breath, I throw my phone towards the end of the bed. I hate social media with a burning fucking passion, specifically the comments. As a rule I usually try not to pay attention to the comments but sometimes it's hard, especially when the comment holds a certain amount of truth. Last night I feel asleep in Mom's lap with my head resting in the crook of her neck. Finding is adorable, she took a picture and posted it to Instagram with the caption: my precious angel, you came into my life when I needed you most and I'm forever thankful for you. I love you to the moon and back, baby girl!

Cute, right? Well all the comments weren't. The ones saying that I didn't really need to be adopted, it's just a con to get Mom's money, and she only adopted me as a publicity stunt don't really bother me because I know it's bullshit. It's the ones saying that I'll never truly be her daughter and that she doesn't actually love me that really get to me and I don't know why. I mean, I know she loves me. She says she loves me, so it has to be true. Shaking my head I sit up slowly and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. I roll my eyes and tell myself those comments mean nothing.

The pain medication that I'm supposed to take make me incredibly drowsy and I hate taking it but I had to a couple hours ago as the pain was unbearable. Making my way over to my desk, I ease down onto the chair and pull out a sheet of paper. Before my talk with Jade, there's some thought I need to get out of my head. Thoughts that have been swirling around my mind for a while now, but they've gotten worse with recent events.

How I dream of ending it all
The blood flows freely from the cut
A satisfying river of crimson
How I dream of ending it all
The bullet penetrates the flesh so violently
Angry red stains coat everything
How I dream of ending it all
The pills slide down so easily
Asleep never again to wake

A single tear hitting my arm causes me to drop the pen and wipe the moisture from my face. Standing, I leave my room and peek in the living room, making sure Jade isn't in there. The sight before me causes me to shake my head. Mom says I spend too much time on my phone but I beg to differ. Every adult in this house is on their phone whereas I've barely touched mine today. Looks like I'm gonna have to start snatching phones. Padding over to the room beside mine, I knock on the open door. Jade motions me in as she slides over to the middle of the bed, putting her phone down beside her. Gently climbing on the bed beside her, I rest my head on her shoulder.

"How are you feeling today?"

I gasp. "She speaks!" When I look at Jade and see a smile on her face, it makes me happy. "I'm feeling okay I guess. I'm still here, Jade."

"I know that."

"You're not acting like it. You've barely said a word since I got shot except during interviews. I'm not the only one that's noticed either. Bottling up your emotions isn't healthy." A bit hypocritical of me to say since I bottle mine up. "Talk to me, Jade, please." I move so that I'm facing her with my back to the door.

"We almost lost you that night." She whimpers, looking away from me.

Scooting closer to her, I turn her head towards me and brush the tears from her cheeks.

"You're right, you almost lost me that night. Almost being the key word. But if you live in fear of what you might lose, are you really living? Anything could happen to any of us at any time but we just have to embrace the bad and enjoy the good cause we can't let what might happen stop us from living. Now, I'm not saying don't be mad or upset, we all cope in different ways. If you need to talk or you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm always here for you."