Value.
Many people wanted to feel that thing.
To be valued.
To be loved.
To have an importance.
I am Jonalyn,and this is my story.
Achievements.
Rewards.
Iilan lang 'yan sa mga bagay na kailangan kong makuha para pahalagahan.
I'm an 4th year highschool student. Typical na estudyante.Nag-aaral ng mabuti upang may maipagmalaki.
Mahirap.
Dahil mataas ang expectation ng mga magulang ko sa akin.
I always belong to those students that can be on top.
Many of them are my friends,helping each other.
I always do my best to make my parents proud.To make them happy.To see that proud smile on their faces.
But I can't.I can't reach their expectations.
Oo,nasa rank ako pero hindi sapat 'yon para maipagmalaki nila ako.
That's why they always say that I'm a failure,that I am useless,worthless.That I don't have value.
They are also strict to me,ayaw palabasin.Pinapatulog ng maaga,no gadgets,kailangang gumising ng maaga para maglinis.They always command me,but that's okay.I think that it's for my own safety,so I let them manipulate me.
My brothers can go outside,come home late,they don't do house chores.I understand,because they are boys.They will not lose anything.
My friends are not really my friends.I treat them real friends while they only treat me an 'option' the 'second choice' but it's okay,atleast they're my friends.
When they have problem,I always make a way to help them.But when I need a help,no one wants to hear me.They're just listening but they don't care.
It seems that everyone don't want me.They don't want to give me attention.They don't care.But it's okay.
I always say it's okay,even tho it's not.
I'm exhausted.Exhausted from everything.I want to give up.I badly want to rest-to rest,forever.I wanted to feel that I have value.That I am valuable.But I guess that time will not come.
So I accepted it anyway.I didn't give up,I fought my battle.I want them to see that I am valuable.
So I seek my value.
I talked to God,He helps me through it all.
I cry to Him in prayer,and let His grace move into my life.
Thanks to Him,I now know my value.
I learned to loved myself,to be valued.I valued myself,and that's the most important thing to do.
If you want others to value you,value yourself first.
This is Jonalyn,signing-off.
