Begin again. (A spn fanfic)

Chapter 12

"You know that's impossible right?" Sam asked, his eyes watching me pace. My brothers were sitting in the library while I was to restless to even stand still for a damn second. Castiel was, well, he was being Cass. Staring at the ground in the corner while I told my whole story, flat out, to my brothers.

"Yeah I get that Sam. You don't think I get that?" I shouted, a bulb from a near by lamb exploded with a loud pop. My brothers flinched and Sam tried, "But you have enoch-"
"Enochian hiding? Yeah damn straight I do, I got frigging tattoos of it down my back but when has that done us any good?" I interrupted.
I took in a breath and whispered in a low voice, "God knows I have tried to hide and run and sacrifice myself for this family over and over. It fails every time and now, I'm going to die by some friggin family member that I don't even know!" My voice raised at the end, two more bulbs shattering.

I was breathing heavily now, my brothers on edge. Cass had disappeared after the first bulb and now we sat/stood alone in the room.

My chest squeezed and I took a seat, my eyes tearing, "I don't want to die."

Sam and Dean looked to each other and Dean spoke first, "You're not going to die Madison. Not this time." I chuckled and wiped under my eyes, catching a few tears. "So what are you going to do? Make another deal with the demons, hide me for your soul? Try to kill another angel? Come on now that's even stupid for you, and even with an angel blade to us each we don't know who's coming after me." I retorted.

"I'm going to die, I'm going to die and I'm not even human. I'm gonna die with something I can't even control." I whispered, gesturing to the shattered glass, and stomped out of the room. Somebody gripped my elbow and spun me around. I knew it was Dean when I grabbed onto his arm and felt the mark of Cain.

"Mads, I know how it feels to have something you can't control." He said, trying to comfort me. I pushed off his hands and asked, "Really Dean? You know how it feels to break lights when you get upset. How it feels to walk into a room and everybody look at you because the lights flicker. You know how it feels that every monster on earth is after me. An eighteen year-old with wings?"

I backed away and shook my head. "You don't understand a thing." I spat and hurried to the impala. One last time.

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"Alrighty boys," I said clapping my hands together. I had summoned Crowley and prayed for Castiel, both of which had joined me at a cross-roads. "Bet you never thought you'd see this place again huh Crowley?" I chuckled. They both just stared at me.

Right, tough crowd.

"Is there a reason you called us here or are you just going to insult me?" Crowley asked kicking a bit of gravel. I nodded my head and replied, "I need a favor from you boys."

"What is it?" Castiel asked. I slipped my thumbs into my front pockets and looked to ground. This was the only way. The only way I knew was going to save me from torment.

"I need you to..." I paused and took a deep breath. "I need you to make sure I go to Hell." Crowley seemed as startled as Castiel, they both took a step forwards. "You need to what?" Crowley asked leaning forward a bit. "Hell, make sure I go to Hell because there is no way I can go back to Heaven. Not without being tortured again. I need you to pull me out of the vale where everybody is trapped and striaght to Hell. If I stay in the vale, then the angels will just bring me back."

"Are you insane! Do you know what kind of power that takes!" Crowley shouted, coming right in front of me. I straightened myself and looked down to his cold eyes. "Of course I do, that's why I called the king of hell." I smirked and he took a step back, rubbing the stubble on his chin.