Fire and Fury - Book 2 COMPLETE.

Chapter 18 - Now or Never

I hate this beyond belief.  Bed bound, in pain and basically an invalid relying on Glen to help me do things.  This is the worst situation I could find myself in especially now...I’ll elaborate somewhat, there was a little awkward moment the other day; he had to help me out of the bath, there’s no way I could make it out of there alone, he shut his eyes honestly it was a little funny when he tried to wrap the towel around me as well as lifting me as gently as he could.  I fell on him and half my towel fell off it was a fiasco.  So, now it’s a tad weird but it couldn’t be avoided.  I used to cook for us but now he has to cook, he tries.  I’m trying my best not to argue with him, he’s been really lacks with his rehab at the minute but I can’t do much from this bed... 

The catch being hold up in bed for two weeks is that it gives you too much time to think! And I’ve been thinking way too much than I thought possible, I’ve kind of come to a small conclusion but that’s nothing to ponder on for too long because it scares me. 

Anyway, I’m going. This invalid business really takes it out of ye... Evie X  

*2 Weeks Later*

I sit, wrapped in my duvet finally able to move comfortably.  For once over the last couple of months, me and Glen are getting along.  We’ve just finished a film but I’ve not really paid much attention to it, I’ve been engulfed in this smog of thought all evening.   I look over and see just over his shoulder as he sits next to me that he’s scribbling something in a leather bound diary.  His writing looks like a spider crawled across the page.  It’s been nice, dare I say it even if I’m feeling ill. But I haven’t forgotten, I’ve not forgotten the thing that’s the driving force behind the tough love in the first place.  What he said on that bus, how he acted.  I can’t feel this way about someone that said those things, but there’s a niggling feeling; that quickened heartbeat, those memories.  

I force my eyes to close, but all I see behind my eyes is him and I don’t want that.

“Evie...”  I open my eyes to the sound of the small sigh of my name and come face to face with Glen. Those eyes looking into my own, they’re working out what’s wrong, scanning just like he does.  His hand covers mine.

“I know this is difficult, are you in pain?” he goes to speak further but I can’t stop this from coming out, I want to stop talking so much.

“It’s me.”

“What are you on about love? Is it the tablets making you gaga?” he laughs, not catching on to my serious tone.

“Glen you don’t get it.  I can’t lie to myself and say I don’t feel anything for you because I do.”

It looks like a picture, his face is frozen in a shocked frown.

“I wouldn’t have stopped the wedding I wouldn’t have agreed to have you live here if I didn’t feel a tiny amount for you. That tiny amount is fucking my head up! I don’t want to feel like this but I do... and I hate it.”  I breathe out a ragged breath.  He’s...sitting in front of me teary eyed. 

“Evie.. All I know is I feel..” he pauses, he’s holding something back “I know I feel something for you, how could I not. We had  over year of our lives together, so much happened. I know I can’t forget it. I don’t want to.” Air puffs out his nose, it scatters my hair away from my face.  I’m a little speechless.

“I don’t know...what to do now.”

“We’re a useless bunch us two.. All I can say is go with the flow. Whatever you want..” he smiles, moving to sit with me on the sofa.

“You’re risking illness you know!” I smirk, poking his shoulder when he covers his mouth with the collar of his shirt. 

“You can’t catch appendicitis .” He laughs, pulling me into a side hug.  There’s butterflies...the all familiar warm fluttering in my stomach with the shaking of my hands, but it’s probably because I’ve been too scared of upchucking from the tablets to eat.