This is tough, and I’m not even the one in rehab. I can’t imagine what it’s like for him. I’ve not heard anything in days, I’ve been moving! Finally into my own house, at last. But there’s a catch of course, it looks like I’ll be spending more time at the rehab centre than my own house...
Every day from 4-9 I have to sit through meetings, sessions and a grating conversation with Glens centre mentor. I might as well be an alcoholic and check in too. Why can’t Mark or Danny do this anyway? They’re closer to him than I am. It’s not like they’re not obligated to help him either, we all play a part in helping him through this. Me more than anyone.
All I’ve got is 10 minutes until I’ve got to go another meeting. A part of me knows I should leave him to deal with his demons alone but it’s me who did this to him so I guess that part of me lucked out.
I guess I’ll report back soon... X
+++++
Wow... This place is so cold. I shiver pulling my cardigan around my shoulders. The small and rather rude brunette from last week leads me through the freezing, blank corridors uttering no words to me nothing but a hand gesture to Glens room.
The room’s silent as I walk in. I spot Glen sitting on his bed facing away from me dressed in a black t-shirt and tracksuit, he’s watching some kind of programme on the small TV that’s hunched in the dark corner of the room.
I clear my throat to make myself known, I get nothing but a visible tensing of his body, a shaking hand grasps the covers.
“Glen...”
My voice shattering the eerie silence perks him up and in a split second he’s grasping onto my hands tightly with his own.
The shock of it makes me gasp and stagger back a little and out of his touch.
“Get me out of here!” he groans, his voice is hoarse and strained.
I take a minute to stare at his gaunt expression. His eyes are no longer holding that spark, nothing in his face resembles the Glen I used to know. His arms and hands are littered with goosebumps, I’m not surprised it’s like the morgue in here.
He looks terrible.
“Evie! Get me out of here!” he yells, his vacant nature nowhere to be seen.
“I can’t. I won’t.” I say, my voice monotone and flat.
“Why fucking not! I hate it here! It’s cold, the staff are arseholes and they keep calling me Mr Power! What is this a bank meeting? I want to go home! I can do this alone!” he shrieks flinging the pillow of his small bed at the door behind me.
“Shut up will you. You sound like a child. I’ve said this a million times, you did this. You can do this alone? Ok then because self detox went so well last time.” I reply, again my voice is flat showing no signs of emotion. I’m not giving him that.
“What’s your game?”
“My game?” I ask in total confusion
“Coming here. Helping me. You don’t want to, I can tell. It’s just a chore to you. Just leave and do us both a favour.” He hisses, sitting in a slump on his child sized bed.
His face is a picture as I start to laugh.
“I’m helping you because I care.” I scoff but inside a foot slams against my head as I kick myself for saying that stupid sentence.
“You care? All you care about is clearing your conscience.”
“That’s right. All I’m doing this for is to make myself feel better! Ok then. Fuck you. You’re the one who fucked things up. Your stupid choice set of everything Glen. All of this is down to you! I shouldn’t have left, I should have helped you then instead of leaving but that’s all I’m being blamed for!” I yell throwing the pillow that landed near me back at him, hitting him in the face.
“I know it’s my fault. Don’t you think I don’t know that? Because I do. But you know I’m not the only one who needs to get fixed here...”
The not unusual rumble of anger sizzles below my skin.
“I know, that’s why I’ve got me a therapist for my anger. But it’s not about me. It’s about you. So let’s go to this stupid meeting before I start getting grey hairs!” I grumble.
Swiftly I follow him out of the box room and back down the corridor to an equally cold and dimly lit room.
“So, when you have that horrible urge to pick up the bottle....”
Shit. I was hoping we slipped in unnoticed... no such luck. A plump, raisin faced man stands in the middle of a large circle of chairs spluttering over his words.
“You’re late, Mr Power.”
All eyes are on us and we sit studiously in the spare chairs. Glen’s mood isn’t much improved along with my own as the sweating man hobbles over to us moodily slapping papers in our hands with a tut.
“As I was saying. When the urge to drink is bearing down on you, distract yourself play a game, jigsaw puzzles are a good one. Maybe visit a loved one, see friends, play an instrument anything...”
“I can do that...” I hear Glen whisper beside me but I don’t say anything, I don’t even look. I can’t hear much over the roaring of the waves of blood my heart pumps round my body.
I’m determined to see this through with no feelings whatsoever, it’s the easiest thing in the world. I don’t love him I said that because I thought he was dying. I need to sort him out, then myself. I can do this...
“Evie. We’re done.”
A familiar voice drags me out of my annoying thoughts and back to the situation in hand.
“Yeah ok..” I mumble following Glen back to the ice box.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*Glen’s POV*
It’s silent when we sit together, she’s watching the pen in my hand jitter over the page. These shakes are getting worse by the day...
I don’t know why I’ve got to do this diary anyway it’s completely unnecessary. Writing about my feelings, the only feeling I have right now is a horrendous headache.
“What’s the matter now?”
Her voice, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of hearing it. Her face doesn’t seem to match up, the cute bunch of freckles screw up into a group in a glare. That’s all she seems to be doing lately glaring at me.
“I’ve got a headache.” I groan through gritted teeth, which in hindsight isn’t helping.
“Finish this thing and get some sleep. I’ve got to go anyway.” She smiles glumly, avoiding my eyes. I wish she wouldn’t keep looking at me like that. I know what she’s thinking despite what she thinks I know her, I know she can’t look at me the same and that’s my own fault. My own punishment.
“Yeah. Evie?” I ask quickly fumbling over words. It’s like she’s walking out my life every time she leaves me.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for doing this, you don’t have to and I’m sorry for earlier.”
“No problem. And I do, I care about you. Just not in the way I used to. I want you to be better I want things to be good between us. I’m not getting into this now ok. I’ve got to go home. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow..” she sighs, then disappears.
With her gone it doesn’t feel right, it just feels like a part of me is absent, or maybe that’s the drink.
Either way, I don’t like this.
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Fire and Fury - Book 2 COMPLETE.
Romance"Your addiction was that...mine was you...funny how things change isn't it?" A year after Fire and Rain he's broken on the edge of oblivion and drowning in drink. She's happy, successful and living a life she's always dreamed of. Will they find t...
