Trip Down Memory Lane

Hang My Head with Sorrow chapter 14

Trigger Warnings: forging, vomit, blood

Roman's POV

     In my room I felt empty, yet heavy. My closest friend, my father figure, my biggest inspiration, was gone. Virgil must be reeling and Logan must be struggling to keep things together. I can not believe that Deceit and Remus thought that it would be a good idea to show up. They are evil, but they should at least show some form of sadness knowing someone they grew up with as a friend and guardian thought he wasn't good enough.

     We have been hard on him as of late. I need to make Patton proud, I need to work 1,000 times harder, just for him! I quickly get out my graphing notebook where I make ideas for videos. Patton would like Thomas to continue with his job, so that is what I shall do. Firstly, I thought of Patton's favorite series, Reasons To Smile. I tried so hard to find a way to improve on what we did last time, but it would be a great challenge.  

     I then planned out the next VidCon. Patton loved meeting Thomas' fans! He would just be in aww at how passionate the ¨kiddos¨ would react to him just standing in their presents talking to them! 

     It then clicked.

     What if we took the joy and happiness of Thomas' fans, and combined it with Reason's to Smile? The fans could submit stuff to include in the video! We wont tell them about the project until later on, but I think Patton would love it.

     I could even make a new Sanders Si... wait. How are we going to make a new Sanders Sides without Patton? Well, we just posted a Sanders Asides, so we should be good for a month or two. That will give me time to continue the series without Patton in a smart way. And if we DO need more time after that, we can just not include Patton in the video and make it a side vs side like the good ol' days. The fans would eat it up and it would continue the series without suspision for now...

     I work and work. From what I remember, it was around 9:30am-ish when I left Patton's room, it was now 4pm. I would not have noticed the time if it wasn't for the teach knocking at my door. I needed to act happy so I dont worry him. Logan has bigger problems of his own, plus he put it on himself to take care of Virgil so Thomas doesn't need to know about Patton's absents for now. 

     ¨Who's that knock, knock, knocking at my chamber door?¨ I heard a deep sigh through the door, and I think I physically heard Logan rub his temple. I pranced up to the door and opened it with a flashing, dashing, very passing... Prince Roman smile! ¨Greetings Logan! What brings you to my kingdom?¨ Logan was not having any of it. He had deep bags under his eyes, half from staying in Virgil's room a lot of today, and just his overall tiredness and lack of energy.

     ¨Roman... I haven't seen you come out of your room all day, not even to go to the imagination. Is everything okay? I know this must be tough on you, it is on all of us.¨ I then went with my signature pose, ¨I am feeling very glittery!¨ Tears then started to form in the teacher's eyes that he was so obviously trying to hold down and not draw attention to.

     ¨Roman. Stop faking. I do not know what is worse, the fact that you think it is best to hide your sadness,or the fact that you think it is good to be happy when someone you have known and loved all your life has died.  I don't want to bother you, since you are probably busy, but here is something to eat. Please eat it, Roman.¨ He then walked out as a loud sniffle and a squeak came from Logan.

     I did not want to eat, I never wanted to eat again, but I wanted to respect Logan's wishes, so I ate. But I didn't like the heavy feeling that the dish made in my stomach.

     I ran to the bathroom, tears in my eyes. I needed to get it out of me. I coughed and coughed until my stomach felt queasy, but that wasn't enough, so I stuck my hand in my mouth, forcing its contents out. I sat there relieving my stomach from the weight that was food. I poured my guts out. My eyes where closed the whole time.

     When I opened my eyes, I saw chunks of what I ate, but then some red stuff. Once I got a good smell, I could tell imminently that it was bloody. My head started spinning so I decided to get myself in bed. I flopped down on my king sized bed and hugged the stuffed dragon Patton knitted for me as I cried. I kept crying. I didn't even think of going to sleep. And the next thing I knew, my alarm was going off.