Our love behind the door

After finding out that i am pregnant it felt like i was in a dark hole were i have no voice and it was sad it didn't feel real while was in the doctors room my mother called me telling me that she is proud of me when she said that my heart stoped asking myself how she knew about my baby and i even forgot that i got my schoolership and i saw my schoolership walking away from me and fading away, so i took my results to my coach and the look on her face was painful to look at but weeks to come i was writing my last exams and i am done with school so the only thing left was my results only so the week i was done writing i told my mother about my baby and she supported me all the way and she even said i can come and move in with her, let me tell you about my mother she got married to a rich man in London and she is happy and in love so much so she prepared a whole room for me and the baby. Months went by and weeks as well i was 30 weeks pregnant and it was showing so bad even my cloths couldn't fit me as well it was hard my 31 week came and i had to go to my check up for my low blood pressure and it was not bad but not good i just need to stress less that is all but that was hard cause i had to go to school to get my results and that was stressful to think that i will see D but i had a week to prepare so on my 32 weeks i had to go to get my results and everyone was looking at me so shocked and that was stressing me when i went to get my results i saw Nari and she was angry at me but shocked that i am pregnant and she told D so i went to my flat to finish packng and i was not feeling well at all i started vomiting so bad and while i was vomiting i heard a knock and i thought it was the taxi guy to take me to the airport but it was D and the last thing i remember was me fainting and soon i was in the hospital and when i woke up the doctor was talking to D and i was shocked what he is doing here talking to my doctor well the doctor said i need to rest and stressless or i will go to labour soon but they kept me for the night and to rest only. Devanter was taking care of me all the way and it was so sweet of him and how did he know that the baby was his without asking at all. Well once i got out he took care of me the whole week and we never talked about it 33 weeks and i felt heavy  but D's parents were in town and wanted have to dinner with me and they have no idea that i am carrying their granchild inside me, i had a feeling that this dinner is a bad idea but i went any ways

During dinner they were talking about their travilng and what they learned and saw but i knew they will soon ask "who is the father question" and when they did the table went quite for a minute and when i said " your son" hell broke loss
She started by saying " you are joking like you are not my son type at all the is no way hell no"
Then she went off " is this your way to trap my son so that you can be rich very quick i know that thing you are carrying is not my son at all, no way you are crazy"
While she was going off at me i felt my pressure rising and what made me more angry is that D didn't say anything at all like he didn't fight for me at all and that angry was the last push for me to faint so i passed out and i was in hospital again, the doctor said " she is at risk and the baby as well so we going to do a c-section right now to save the baby and her as well cause every body is at risk"
The gave birth to my baby and i didn't even see her first at all i was not even awake and that hurts so much, she is 3 weeks early and had to check her blood flow but she was healthy and no signs of anything but the blood is not high or low but not bad
As for me i haven't been awake for a week and i week but i finally woke and ready to see my baby for the first time and when i first saw her and her eyes on me the name of "pono" meaning vision came into my heart. I was 19 and finally a mother to my dream baby 4 week in the hospital and check up's and all it was time to go home, the ride to home felt so long and my body was in pain a lot of pain which killed me a lot but we got home and everything was prepared while i was in the hospital with the baby Devanter was planing my flat, he removed everything and exchanged everything he even created a babies room and everything all over the place was baby things the good thing about my baby is that she sleeps but when she wakes up it is a lot of job she can cry and she can be loud but perfect my dream baby looking at her i was so emotional i was still weak but i had to feed the baby and change her all night long that is what i did and i was in pain feeding all night long it was job that no one will ever be ready for the whole nighr feeding and changing was emotion but in the morning he came into my room and feed the baby and changed then he looked at me and said " pump some milk for me and rest after that i this for the day" i felt like holding him to thank him but i needed to sleep so i slept almost the whole day i woke up by 3oclock to pump some more milk and i was planing on cooking but he said he will cook i should relax while we were eating and the baby was sleeping so i asked him the one question i wanted to know , why he cheated on me?
The said" he loved me as a friend and he saw that i love him more than he loves me so he will be a better friend than my boyfriend"
When he said i that started hearing my baby crying and i went to feed her and change her and ever since i stayed with her in the room.
Well it become our lives night time it is my time and day time it is his and we hardly take only when i need nappies and more milk that is all and he doesn't bring girls around but i can see them on his posts and phone and that was eye opening for me
Weeks and months went by and our baby is now 4 months old and she is growing but tonight Devanter is not home it is only me and the baby but she has a hard fever so i called my doctor and she said i should bring her in so i went they took her for checks and left me in the waiting room while i was waiting i called D and told him our baby is at the doctor she has a fever well he rushed and came with his girl and she is very beautiful i must say, clean hair and fresh beautiful skin and perfect teeth and her body was 10 and her smell was perfect and everything about her i felt like everyone was looking her since she walked in but moving on..... i was looking at the girl the doctor came and said she is fine and her fever is also fine i should not worry about it at all well Deventer called a cab for the girl and he took us home i was worried sick about Pono and i was emotion i ended up crying on top of him and he pulled my face for a kiss my body felt alive again but i pushed him away i can not go though this again with him no more using me No more so what is my next move??