Our love behind the door

Fool of me

As i felt like a fool on that bed while he is on a phone call with other women after we made love is the most painful feeling i ever felt and the worst part is that i know he is not mine but he is mine everything on him is mine i mean his skin belongs to my skin his lips should be kissing me only his hands are made for me to love him right.....i know i am not crazy i know but hearing him on a phone call well i felt crazy i must say. The most painful thing is as i feel the sun set on my skin i know our night of passion will just be a night only and that hurts so bad, do you ever ask yourself why love hurts or why don't we fight for it and just do it for us even if we are looking like fools either way we won't care about it or should we care about how other people feel or think?
At this point i have no idea, i love this man with all of me and i even gave him his first child even if he doesn't put a ring on it i want him all to myself is that a bad thing?
They say " DREAMS ALWAYS COME THROUGH" i guess my dreams only want me at night.
Any ways in the morning we acted like we did nothing at all but my skin was screaming out loud that "we made love"  as i saw him pieces of tears almost came out, i swear this boy is my drug and i have a huge addication on him it is driving me crazy but i have to move away from it as soon as i can.
Yes......i know i am unemployed but my mother will do anything for me and i know that this is my flat and i pay for it but he does everything for it i mean now it is huge cause of him.
Well he bought the place to mine and removed the wall and my flat looked like a home and it felt like a home because it had 3 bedrooms now so i thank him and he pays for the other half while i pay the other and yes.....he still has his family house but Nari lives there alone in that huge house.
Have you ever got that feeling that you going to have the worst day of your life well i did and let me tell you what a day i had
So guess who come to our home to surprise him???
Yes..... you guessed right his girlfriend, the beautiful flowless girlfriend
She knocked twice and he open
And manh when she gave him a hug i saw red i tell but i broke down when i saw her kissing him
I kept telling myself to breath cause i felt my heart beat decreasing i never cried like that before and of cause she didn't see me cry i went to the toilet to cry and breath cause i was dying inside me i tell you.
It was on a Sunday when she came and Pono was coming home the following day Monday why am i telling you this is cause she asked about our baby and why are we together, just the two of us
Okay have you ever had a moment.....that moment you just want to be rude and mean as hell well i felt it and when she asked i wanted to say "ohhhh it is only us in this house cause well we wanted to fuc.....exuse me make love to each other so bad" manh i wanted to say that but i didn't say that i just looked at her and smile. Okay i wanted to move away from them cause 1. I felt bad that we are cheating on her
2. I was angry at him
So it was a mess.
But looking at them they look perfect and in love i should say she is perfect as well
I mean she has the love of her parents
She is in school learning
No kid
She is perfect for him and i am sure that his mother will love her so much.
I had dinner with them and i felt like i was eating rocks i swear every time when i look at her holding or touching him i felt like slaping her of him but remember he is not mine but hers but he is mine in some world,some place this love thing i swear is not for me. So after eating i finally faked an illness cause i had to just to move away and go to my room to cry outloud i had to for my emotions for his ass, the things i got myself into  i really need help to stop loving him.....great now i know what they mean when they say "LOVE NEVER DIES" can my love die for my well being.
Well i went to my room and cried well listening to one song which will help me for this moment
Song :Me'Shell NdegéOcello-fool of me (on repeat)
It was on while i cry myself to sleep i passed out after crying my eyes out then out of nowhere i felt hands around me so Pono has my hands but they are warm like D so i thought it was my baby back but up until i felt them being long then i woke up and it was him next to me covering me all over i tried moving and pushing him away but he never moved then he said " i am home so stop removing me from my home please" my addication can talk i tell you but it was wrong to do this to this girl i know and i can feel it with every touch he does to me, i guess i am a fool but his fool right.......